The One Thing Customer Service Should Never Pass Along

I have a cold. The miserable kind with headache, sneezing, and the occasional plugging the nostrils with a Kleenex and keeping it there. Big deal, right? Well, there is no hard evidence to support how I got it, but here's a theory.

A week ago, my husband and I decided to stop by a popular coffeehouse and order our favorite beverages. While placing our order, the barista began coughing into her bare hand. Repeatedly. Until then, I had made up my mind to order a  mocha frappuccino. Was even eyeing some of the breakfast pastries.

"I apologize," she lamented as she stepped into another room for a moment. "I have bronchitis," she added upon returning to fill our order. Suddenly, I wanted to dart out of her presence, but I feared offending her. The coughing into her hand, combined with blowing her nose into a paper towel continued relentlessly.

"I'll just take a small coffee," I announced, changing my mind after my previous request for the frappuccino. I didn't want to spend a dime more than I had to at this point.

"O.k., well then let me make some fresh coffee," she replied as I watched, in horror, her replace the filter with the hand she had been coughing into.

My husband tried to ease my anxiety by whispering that perhaps the germs would die off with the heat.

My stomach churned as I then watched her pour the coffee into my cup and press the lid down tightly, again with the same hand.

Seconds later, I discreetly took a napkin and removed the lid, tossing it into the waste dispenser. Then, while drinking the coffee in hopes it wasn't contaminated, I wrote her a friendly note, offering some advice about personal hygiene in the workplace.

I handed it to her with a smile, as we exchanged friendly farewells.

What I have become recently aware of, is the human tendency to choose not to offend over to experience suffering. There was a quote along these lines in the hit movie, "The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo."

And now, the question is, do I take my cold to work with me and risk passing it along to the long-term care residents I serve?

Some things are best kept to ourselves.

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Kareen King is a Registered Drama Therapist and founder of The Golden Experience™, offering keynotes, concerts, and workshops to enrich lives in long-term care. For booking information, contact her at kking@thegoldenexperience.com or visit www.thegoldenexperience.com. Kareen's CD's which feature original songs that give voice to individuals in long-term care settings, have been used as caregiver training tools, gifts for long-term care staff and volunteers, and for personal inspiration. To hear samples and to purchase, click http://www.cdbaby.com/Artist/KareenKing.

How to Create a Golden Moment in the Person-Centered Care Journey

By Kareen King, RDT

Person-centered care. It's a growing trend in the long-term care industry. That is, accommodating residents in long-term care settings to make their own choices, eat when and what they want, and do what they want to do, within reason.

There's a gentleman at one of the retirement communities I consult at. He's not that interested in attending group activities and can often be found napping in his room. That is, unless he's given an opportunity to get the heck out of dodge and go out for a spin through the countryside.

The other day I joined "Jerry" with a group of residents on a bus outing to a nearby town where my son lives. After driving around the city lake and stopping for ice cream at McDonald's, I arranged for the residents to stop at my son's home so he could bring his two affectionate dogs into the bus for the residents to pet and enjoy. Mission accomplished. Or so I thought.

Just as we were getting ready to move on, Jerry requested to see my son's Corvette. Within minutes, you could see Jerry and the other guys' faces light up as my son revved up the engine and pulled around the bus so everyone could get a good look. It was a "golden moment" that occurred as a result of the following ingredients:
- Spontaneity
- Camaraderie
- Originality
- Novelty
- Charity
- Generosity

The picture above captures the juxtaposition of two worlds that come together as one, even for one brief golden moment.

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Kareen King is a Registered Drama Therapist and founder of The Golden Experience™, offering keynotes, concerts, and workshops to enrich lives in long-term care. For booking information, contact her at kking@thegoldenexperience.com or visit www.thegoldenexperience.com. Kareen's CD's which feature original songs that give voice to individuals in long-term care settings, have been used as caregiver training tools, gifts for long-term care staff and volunteers, and for personal inspiration. To hear samples and to purchase, click http://www.cdbaby.com/Artist/KareenKing.

A Beautiful Day

A beautiful day. That's what today was.

After engaging nursing home residents throughout the day with songs, pictures, stories, and hugs, I spent a few extra moments with a woman for whom I deliver weekly bedside concerts. I shared with her a few of the songs she missed during the group activities.

"I'll see you next Friday," I declared as I bid her farewell.

"You are the beauty of my week," she replied.

And, on the way home, I saw one of the most beautiful sunsets ever.

Love, beauty, peak moments. That's what The Golden Experience is all about.

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Kareen King is a Registered Drama Therapist and founder of The Golden Experience™, offering keynotes, concerts, and workshops to enrich lives in long-term care. For booking information, contact her at kking@thegoldenexperience.com or visit www.thegoldenexperience.com. Kareen's CD's which feature original songs that give voice to individuals in long-term care settings, have been used as caregiver training tools, gifts for long-term care staff and volunteers, and for personal inspiration. To hear samples and to purchase, click http://www.cdbaby.com/Artist/KareenKing.

How to Avoid Being Happy

Kenny passed away a few months ago. I'm reminded of my past friendship with him every time I walk into Brookside Retirement Community and see the montages of pictures of residents and staff sharing special moments. There's a wonderful picture of Kenny and me, cheek to cheek, with big smiles on our faces. You'd never know that several years back when I worked with him full time, he was often grumpy and never had anything appreciative to say about much of  anything. Except he loved it when I might take him out for a trip to the Dollar General where he could stock up on bird seed and soda pop.

We used to excuse his behavior as a cover-up for his sense of unworthiness for receiving anything of value. Because, before he came to Brookside, he was the town throw-away. A couple of good Samaritans came along and rescued him, taking on the role of Durable Power of Attorney, and making sure that his last years of life would be years in which he would be treated with dignity and love. And perhaps he would, for once, enjoy some of the finer things in life.

One day, some of my coworkers and I cooked up a fishing trip for the men. We coaxed Kenny into joining us. When we arrived at the city lake, he immediately started complaining that the lake was no good and that he wasn't going to have any fun. And then, to prove his point, he parked his walker and laid down on the sidewalk. It reminded me of a truth I learned from Dr. Paul Fitzgerald who often speaks on ways people try to avoid losing in life. One of the twelve "dirty dozen" ways of trying to beat the system, or as Dr. Phil would say, "Do you want to be right, or do you want to be happy?" is "Don't play the game."

So, on this particular occasion, I thought I'd play the "don't-play-the-game" game along with him. And he kinda liked that. It was a moment where he felt validated and noticed. And I rather enjoyed the moment myself.

My coworker, Jill, found this picture and gave it to me the other day. It's different than the one you can see on the bulletin board at Brookside, but I like it better. And it demonstrates to me, how important it is to enter the world of individuals in long-term care. And how wonderful it is to just spend a moment to be with someone on their turf.

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Kareen King is a Registered Drama Therapist and founder of The Golden Experience™, offering keynotes, concerts, and workshops to enrich lives in long-term care. For booking information, contact her at kking@thegoldenexperience.com or visit www.thegoldenexperience.com. Kareen's CD's which feature original songs that give voice to individuals in long-term care settings, have been used as caregiver training tools, gifts for long-term care staff and volunteers, and for personal inspiration. To hear samples and to purchase, click http://www.cdbaby.com/Artist/KareenKing.

One of the Most Powerful Theater Games Ever

I learned this game during my training in Drama Therapy at Kansas State University. It was introduced to me in Renee Umenah's book, Acting For Real: Drama Therapy Process, Technique, And Performance. The game is entitled, "Fortunately, Unfortunately" and it goes something like this:

1. A group of participants are assigned to create an imaginary character with a goal. They can flesh out the character as they wish.
2. The first player starts the story with a sentence that establishes both the current status quo and the character's ultimate goal.
3. The next player creates a sentence that begins with "Unfortunately . . ."
4. The next player, building on the story, creates a sentence that begins with "Fortunately . . ."
5. This continues until the last player who ties up all the loose ends and concludes the story with the character achieving his goal.

I've played this game dozens of times in variety of situations with a variety of audiences. It never plays out the same, but it's always incredibly illuminating, offering insights into how we flesh out our own emotional roller coasters.  Here's how it played out in my own life today:

The Wild Goose Chase
 by Kareen King

Fortunately: My husband told me about a flock of thousands of geese outside. I ran outside with my brand new digital camera and took dozens of potentially award-winning shots of them flying toward and above me with cattle grazing in the background.

Unfortunately: I discovered I forgot to put the memory card in the camera.

Fortunately: I ran back in the house and installed the memory card. Ran back out to find the geese still there!

Unfortunately: While attempting to shoot more amazing pics, I discovered the battery went dead.

Fortunately: I ran back in the house and installed recharged back-up battery.

Unfortunately: I ran back outside and discovered that every last goose was gone.

The moral of the story: Be prepared or your goose is cooked!

How can this be applied in the long-term care setting (or in life, for that matter)?

Several thoughts come to mind including:

- Use this game as an activity with the residents or during staff meetings.

- Use this game and follow with conversation starters such as "What disrupts your own status quo and how do you deal with it?" or "List some of your best "fortunately's" or worst "unfortunately's".

Of course, I will tell this story to the residents next time I work with them, as I always enjoy sharing my own life experiences. And I will milk it for all it's worth. Because one thing I've learned from this game is that, I will not "land" in an "unfortunately." I will make lemonade from the lemons life throws at me, such as this one today.

And I will show them a picture of my empty picture with, ironically, the graveyard in the background. I will ask them to imagine what could fill up that pasture at any given moment of the day. And I will describe, as best I can, what I saw this morning. I will let them play it out in their mind's eye, for after all, many of them will be too visually impaired to enjoy the details of my pictures anyway. And I will laugh at my own mistake, having had fun making play out of the misery-loves-company adage.

So, if I would have had my camera all ready to go, I wouldn't have had this "as-good-as-it-gets" story to tell. I missed capturing the peak moments on camera, but I can still learn from the debris. And I can practice "The Golden Nugget Pursuit" which is part of The Golden Experience.

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Kareen King is a Registered Drama Therapist and founder of The Golden Experience™, offering keynotes, concerts, and workshops to enrich lives in long-term care. For booking information, contact her at kking@thegoldenexperience.com or visit www.thegoldenexperience.com. Kareen's CD's which feature original songs that give voice to individuals in long-term care settings, have been used as caregiver training tools, gifts for long-term care staff and volunteers, and for personal inspiration. To hear samples and to purchase, click http://www.cdbaby.com/Artist/KareenKing.

How An Author Helps Nursing Home Residents Relive Their Past

My brother, Eric Brende, author of "Better Off," a Harper Collins published narrative about he and his wife's 15 month stint living without electricity in an Amish-like community, came for a visit this week. It was a no-brainer to invite him to present his unique presentation for the residents at Wellsville and Brookside Retirement Communities.

Today after his presentation at Brookside, one of the residents commented on how much she enjoyed it.

"Why he was talking about the way we used to live."

And I realized the irony of the situation. Here is my brother, talking about his experience as an urban homesteader as if it were something unheard of. And all the while, the residents are probably thinking, "Been there, done that."

Nonetheless, his innovative performance which used classical piano pieces to aid in telling the story of how technology can complicate, rather than simplify our lives, was refreshing, entertaining, and inspirational. A "Golden Experience" indeed.

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Kareen King is a Registered Drama Therapist and founder of The Golden Experience™, offering keynotes, concerts, and workshops to enrich lives in long-term care. For booking information, contact her at kking@thegoldenexperience.com or visit www.thegoldenexperience.com. Kareen's CD's which feature original songs that give voice to individuals in long-term care settings, have been used as caregiver training tools, gifts for long-term care staff and volunteers, and for personal inspiration. To hear samples and to purchase, click http://www.cdbaby.com/Artist/KareenKing.

Merry Christmas from Kareen King!

 

I want to acknowledge Darin Jones, a former Theater Appreciation student of mine for creating a front yard Christmas light extravaganza for all the townspeople of Overbrook, Kansas to enjoy. I took several pictures as the experience, which was cued up with a local FM radio station, unfolded. He delivered a truly "Golden Experience." Merry Christmas! __________________________________________________________________ Kareen King is a Registered Drama Therapist and founder of The Golden Experience, offering keynotes, concerts, and workshops to enrich lives in long-term care. For booking information, contact her at kking@thegoldenexperience.com or visit www.thegoldenexperience.com. Kareen's CD's which feature original songs that give voice to individuals in long-term care settings, have been used as caregiver training tools, gifts for long-term care staff and volunteers, and for personal inspiration. To hear samples and to purchase, click http://www.cdbaby.com/Artist/KareenKing.