Kareen King

A Picture And a Thousand Words

2012-01-31T06:46:00.000-08:00

By Kareen King

According to research, people have a natural attraction for narrative construction and tend to remember facts more easily when associated with storytelling. I have found this to be true in the long-term care setting as well.

For example, a picture may be worth a thousand words, but it'll be worth a lot more if you have a story behind it. I lace everything I do with personal anecdotes, and that includes the original photos I share with my residents.

The other day, I enlisted the help of several direct care workers to showcase my nature photos so the residents could get as many close-up views as possible. Often these include sunsets and sunrises.

After a wonderful session that included tales from a recent cruise adventure followed be nonsense songs in honor of Lewis Carroll's birthday, I headed down the hallway to return some of the residents to one of the neighborhood dining rooms. Along the way, I passed by "Donna," a resident who was rehabbing with her walker.

"I watched the sunset the other night," she said. "It reminded me of you."

That warmed my heart. To know that I was thought of by a nursing home resident on a day I wasn't even around.

Personal narrative, beauty, genuine connection. This is what The Golden Experience is all about.

And here is this morning's sunrise from my own front yard:

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Kareen King is a Registered Drama Therapist and founder of The Golden Experience™, offering keynotes, concerts, and workshops to enrich lives in long-term care. For booking information, contact her at kking@thegoldenexperience.com or visit www.thegoldenexperience.com. Kareen's CD's which feature original songs that give voice to individuals in long-term care settings, have been used as caregiver training tools, gifts for long-term care staff and volunteers, and for personal inspiration. To hear samples and to purchase, click http://www.cdbaby.com/Artist/KareenKing.

When Incontinence Provides An Opportunity for Validation

2012-01-28T05:12:00.000-08:00

By Kareen King, RDT

"I just wet my pants," "Louie" lamented as he sat in his wheelchair in the middle of the hallway.

"It's o.k." I reassured. "Sometimes our bodies don't always obey us like we want."

"It's embarrassing," he continued.

"I know. But don't be so hard on yourself. You're in good company. It happens to a lot of us. It could happen to me some day."

"I went all over the world, but it don't matter," he reminisced, attempting to dismiss his life's experiences because of his current loss of control.

"Really? That's wonderful! Where have you been?" I coaxed, capitalizing on the opportunity to validate this gentleman.

"I've been to every state except for two," he replied, lighting up a bit as he identified the two states. "But I failed," he replied in an effort to wallow in a little more self pity.

"Failed? You've been to more places than most people in the world!" I persisted.

"I used to think I failed for not going to those two states, but I would have failed for going to them without a purpose."

His demeanor had suddenly shifted from self pity to self pride as he explained how his military service was the reason for all his destinations, except for the two states, of course.

"Thank you for serving our country," I said, shaking his hand. "Is it o.k. if I give you a hug?" I inquired, reminding him of how valuable he is just for being a human being.

"That's so important," he remarked as I embraced him. "I hope I see you again."

After the hug, I stepped away, viewing the tears in his eyes.

"I'll see you again in a week," I told him.

I stepped away from Louie, waved good-bye, and headed back down the hallway, satisfied that his world had become a much better place, even if for a moment.

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The One Thing Customer Service Should Never Pass Along

2012-01-24T14:28:00.000-08:00

I have a cold. The miserable kind with headache, sneezing, and the occasional plugging the nostrils with a Kleenex and keeping it there. Big deal, right? Well, there is no hard evidence to support how I got it, but here's a theory.

A week ago, my husband and I decided to stop by a popular coffeehouse and order our favorite beverages. While placing our order, the barista began coughing into her bare hand. Repeatedly. Until then, I had made up my mind to order a mocha frappuccino. Was even eyeing some of the breakfast pastries.

"I apologize," she lamented as she stepped into another room for a moment. "I have bronchitis," she added upon returning to fill our order. Suddenly, I wanted to dart out of her presence, but I feared offending her. The coughing into her hand, combined with blowing her nose into a paper towel continued relentlessly.

"I'll just take a small coffee," I announced, changing my mind after my previous request for the frappuccino. I didn't want to spend a dime more than I had to at this point.

"O.k., well then let me make some fresh coffee," she replied as I watched, in horror, her replace the filter with the hand she had been coughing into.

My husband tried to ease my anxiety by whispering that perhaps the germs would die off with the heat.

My stomach churned as I then watched her pour the coffee into my cup and press the lid down tightly, again with the same hand.

Seconds later, I discreetly took a napkin and removed the lid, tossing it into the waste dispenser. Then, while drinking the coffee in hopes it wasn't contaminated, I wrote her a friendly note, offering some advice about personal hygiene in the workplace.

I handed it to her with a smile, as we exchanged friendly farewells.

What I have become recently aware of, is the human tendency to choose not to offend over to experience suffering. There was a quote along these lines in the hit movie, "The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo."

And now, the question is, do I take my cold to work with me and risk passing it along to the long-term care residents I serve?

Some things are best kept to ourselves.

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How to Create a Golden Moment in the Person-Centered Care Journey

2012-01-12T14:52:00.000-08:00

By Kareen King, RDT

Person-centered care. It's a growing trend in the long-term care industry. That is, accommodating residents in long-term care settings to make their own choices, eat when and what they want, and do what they want to do, within reason.

There's a gentleman at one of the retirement communities I consult at. He's not that interested in attending group activities and can often be found napping in his room. That is, unless he's given an opportunity to get the heck out of dodge and go out for a spin through the countryside.

The other day I joined "Jerry" with a group of residents on a bus outing to a nearby town where my son lives. After driving around the city lake and stopping for ice cream at McDonald's, I arranged for the residents to stop at my son's home so he could bring his two affectionate dogs into the bus for the residents to pet and enjoy. Mission accomplished. Or so I thought.

Just as we were getting ready to move on, Jerry requested to see my son's Corvette. Within minutes, you could see Jerry and the other guys' faces light up as my son revved up the engine and pulled around the bus so everyone could get a good look. It was a "golden moment" that occurred as a result of the following ingredients:
- Spontaneity
- Camaraderie
- Originality
- Novelty
- Charity
- Generosity

The picture above captures the juxtaposition of two worlds that come together as one, even for one brief golden moment.

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A Beautiful Day

2012-01-06T21:18:00.000-08:00

A beautiful day. That's what today was.

After engaging nursing home residents throughout the day with songs, pictures, stories, and hugs, I spent a few extra moments with a woman for whom I deliver weekly bedside concerts. I shared with her a few of the songs she missed during the group activities.

"I'll see you next Friday," I declared as I bid her farewell.

"You are the beauty of my week," she replied.

And, on the way home, I saw one of the most beautiful sunsets ever.

Love, beauty, peak moments. That's what The Golden Experience is all about.

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How to Avoid Being Happy

2012-01-05T13:32:00.000-08:00

Kenny passed away a few months ago. I'm reminded of my past friendship with him every time I walk into Brookside Retirement Community and see the montages of pictures of residents and staff sharing special moments. There's a wonderful picture of Kenny and me, cheek to cheek, with big smiles on our faces. You'd never know that several years back when I worked with him full time, he was often grumpy and never had anything appreciative to say about much of anything. Except he loved it when I might take him out for a trip to the Dollar General where he could stock up on bird seed and soda pop.

We used to excuse his behavior as a cover-up for his sense of unworthiness for receiving anything of value. Because, before he came to Brookside, he was the town throw-away. A couple of good Samaritans came along and rescued him, taking on the role of Durable Power of Attorney, and making sure that his last years of life would be years in which he would be treated with dignity and love. And perhaps he would, for once, enjoy some of the finer things in life.

One day, some of my coworkers and I cooked up a fishing trip for the men. We coaxed Kenny into joining us. When we arrived at the city lake, he immediately started complaining that the lake was no good and that he wasn't going to have any fun. And then, to prove his point, he parked his walker and laid down on the sidewalk. It reminded me of a truth I learned from Dr. Paul Fitzgerald who often speaks on ways people try to avoid losing in life. One of the twelve "dirty dozen" ways of trying to beat the system, or as Dr. Phil would say, "Do you want to be right, or do you want to be happy?" is "Don't play the game."

So, on this particular occasion, I thought I'd play the "don't-play-the-game" game along with him. And he kinda liked that. It was a moment where he felt validated and noticed. And I rather enjoyed the moment myself.

My coworker, Jill, found this picture and gave it to me the other day. It's different than the one you can see on the bulletin board at Brookside, but I like it better. And it demonstrates to me, how important it is to enter the world of individuals in long-term care. And how wonderful it is to just spend a moment to be with someone on their turf.

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One of the Most Powerful Theater Games Ever

2012-01-02T09:25:00.000-08:00

I learned this game during my training in Drama Therapy at Kansas State University. It was introduced to me in Renee Umenah's book, Acting For Real: Drama Therapy Process, Technique, And Performance. The game is entitled, "Fortunately, Unfortunately" and it goes something like this:

1. A group of participants are assigned to create an imaginary character with a goal. They can flesh out the character as they wish.
2. The first player starts the story with a sentence that establishes both the current status quo and the character's ultimate goal.
3. The next player creates a sentence that begins with "Unfortunately . . ."
4. The next player, building on the story, creates a sentence that begins with "Fortunately . . ."
5. This continues until the last player who ties up all the loose ends and concludes the story with the character achieving his goal.

I've played this game dozens of times in variety of situations with a variety of audiences. It never plays out the same, but it's always incredibly illuminating, offering insights into how we flesh out our own emotional roller coasters. Here's how it played out in my own life today:

The Wild Goose Chase
by Kareen King

Fortunately: My husband told me about a flock of thousands of geese outside. I ran outside with my brand new digital camera and took dozens of potentially award-winning shots of them flying toward and above me with cattle grazing in the background.

Unfortunately: I discovered I forgot to put the memory card in the camera.

Fortunately: I ran back in the house and installed the memory card. Ran back out to find the geese still there!

Unfortunately: While attempting to shoot more amazing pics, I discovered the battery went dead.

Fortunately: I ran back in the house and installed recharged back-up battery.

Unfortunately: I ran back outside and discovered that every last goose was gone.

The moral of the story: Be prepared or your goose is cooked!

How can this be applied in the long-term care setting (or in life, for that matter)?

Several thoughts come to mind including:

- Use this game as an activity with the residents or during staff meetings.

- Use this game and follow with conversation starters such as "What disrupts your own status quo and how do you deal with it?" or "List some of your best "fortunately's" or worst "unfortunately's".

Of course, I will tell this story to the residents next time I work with them, as I always enjoy sharing my own life experiences. And I will milk it for all it's worth. Because one thing I've learned from this game is that, I will not "land" in an "unfortunately." I will make lemonade from the lemons life throws at me, such as this one today.

And I will show them a picture of my empty picture with, ironically, the graveyard in the background. I will ask them to imagine what could fill up that pasture at any given moment of the day. And I will describe, as best I can, what I saw this morning. I will let them play it out in their mind's eye, for after all, many of them will be too visually impaired to enjoy the details of my pictures anyway. And I will laugh at my own mistake, having had fun making play out of the misery-loves-company adage.

So, if I would have had my camera all ready to go, I wouldn't have had this "as-good-as-it-gets" story to tell. I missed capturing the peak moments on camera, but I can still learn from the debris. And I can practice "The Golden Nugget Pursuit" which is part of The Golden Experience.

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How An Author Helps Nursing Home Residents Relive Their Past

2011-12-30T19:06:00.000-08:00

My brother, Eric Brende, author of "Better Off," a Harper Collins published narrative about he and his wife's 15 month stint living without electricity in an Amish-like community, came for a visit this week. It was a no-brainer to invite him to present his unique presentation for the residents at Wellsville and Brookside Retirement Communities.

Today after his presentation at Brookside, one of the residents commented on how much she enjoyed it.

"Why he was talking about the way we used to live."

And I realized the irony of the situation. Here is my brother, talking about his experience as an urban homesteader as if it were something unheard of. And all the while, the residents are probably thinking, "Been there, done that."

Nonetheless, his innovative performance which used classical piano pieces to aid in telling the story of how technology can complicate, rather than simplify our lives, was refreshing, entertaining, and inspirational. A "Golden Experience" indeed.

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Merry Christmas from Kareen King!

2011-12-25T21:12:00.000-08:00

I want to acknowledge Darin Jones, a former Theater Appreciation student of mine for creating a front yard Christmas light extravaganza for all the townspeople of Overbrook, Kansas to enjoy. I took several pictures as the experience, which was cued up with a local FM radio station, unfolded.He delivered a truly "Golden Experience."Merry Christmas!__________________________________________________________________Kareen King is a Registered Drama Therapist and founder of The Golden Experience, offering keynotes, concerts, and workshops to enrich lives in long-term care. For booking information, contact her at kking@thegoldenexperience.com or visit www.thegoldenexperience.com. Kareen's CD's which feature original songs that give voice to individuals in long-term care settings, have been used as caregiver training tools, gifts for long-term care staff and volunteers, and for personal inspiration. To hear samples and to purchase, click http://www.cdbaby.com/Artist/KareenKing.

The One Thing No Grandparent Wants to Hear

2011-12-24T07:37:00.000-08:00

"Die, Grandma, die!"

This was the title of a piece I read in a newspaper in Washington state a number of years ago. I was dumbfounded. It went on to list, in great detail, every reason this anonymous granddaughter held a bitter grudge against her grandmother. You can guarantee this grandma didn't get any visits from her granddaughter in the nursing home.

Compare that with what I encountered yesterday.

While giving a little mini concert in the skilled nursing facility room of a lady who was lying in her bed, the daughter of her roommate was changing the sheets of her mother's bed.

"Why are you changing the sheets?" I inquired. "Don't they do that for you here?"

"Oh yes, they do," she replied. "And they would if I asked. But I always change the sheets on the day my mother has her shower so that she can return to a fresh smelling bed."

"Wow! That's amazing!"

"After all she did for us, that's the least I could do."

I soon discovered that this devoted daughter had visited her mother in the nursing home daily for the last nine plus years. This on top of living in another town.

"I don't see how it could be any other way. After all our parents have done for us, it's a no-brainer, don't you think?"

"Well, I'm not sure every parent warrants the same devotion as your mother is receiving from you," I countered, sharing examples of those whose parenting practices failed miserably in comparison.

Soon after, I found myself hugging and comforting a tearful old gentleman who was lonely for his children and grandchildren who rarely, if ever, visit him in the nursing home.

"Perhaps they'll come see you for Christmas," I encouraged in a lame attempt to "fix" his problem. "I'll pray that they do," I added for good measure, thinking that surely his loved ones will visit him on the "most wonderful day of the year."

So, if you're wondering how you rate as a parent or grandparent, consider the following ways to ensure that your loved ones will not be tempted to dismiss you in the end. My list is short and simple:

1. Love them unconditionally.
2. Be generous with your time and resources.

And, in the meantime, consider hugging someone's parent/grandparent at a nursing home this holiday season.

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Kareen King is a Registered Drama Therapist and founder of The Golden Experience, offering keynotes, concerts, and workshops to enrich lives in long-term care. For booking information, contact her at kking@thegoldenexperience.com or visit www.thegoldenexperience.com.

Kareen's CD's which feature original songs that give voice to individuals in long-term care settings, have been used as caregiver training tools, gifts for long-term care staff and volunteers, and for personal inspiration. To hear samples and to purchase, click http://www.cdbaby.com/Artist/KareenKing.

The One Thing That Matters Most in the End

2011-12-22T07:10:00.000-08:00

"A picture is worth a thousand words," according to the old adage.

I was recently asked what three things I would grab from my home if it caught fire. Without hesitation I replied that it would be the picture of my five children that my son gave me last year for Christmas. After that, I drew a blank.

When you walk through a long-term care community and look at the rooms of each of the residents, you will see that very little of material possession remains in their lives except for the most part, pictures.

Furthermore, it's the use of pictures during many of our life enrichment activities, that have proved to be effective for every seeing individual, no matter the level of functioning.

This Christmas I have invested quite a bit of time and energy organizing pictures and creating collages for my family. Below is a collection of a few of my family favorites.

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Kareen King is a Registered Drama Therapist and founder of The Golden Experience, offering keynotes, concerts, and workshops to enrich lives in long-term care. For booking information, contact her at kking@thegoldenexperience.com or visit www.thegoldenexperience.com.

Kareen's CD's which feature original songs that give voice to individuals in long-term care settings, have been used as caregiver training tools, gifts for long-term care staff and volunteers, and for personal inspiration. To hear samples and to purchase, click http://www.cdbaby.com/Artist/KareenKing.

It's a Wonderful Life(?) in the Long-Term Care Setting

2011-12-17T10:28:00.000-08:00

Dick Van Dyke recently published a book entitled My Lucky Life. In honor of his birthday which is celebrated in December, I facilitated a "Dick Van Dyke" experience with the long-term care residents I work with. Part of the experience was to invite each resident to insert their own adjective in the title, "My _________ Life."

Adjectives included "Great," "Calm," "Excellent," "Happy," Wonderful," "Ordinary," and "Good," to name a few.

It did not at all, however, surprise me when one gentleman adamantly proclaimed, "My miserable life!" What struck me about his comment is that it mirrors everything I experience him to be. He lies in bed, by choice, except for dining. He refuses most invitations to attend group activities. He offers very little reciprocity the times I've made an effort to converse with him. And, case in point, the one time he initiated a conversation was in reaction to my comment that I'll be celebrating my 32rd wedding anniversary this year.

"32 years!" he exclaimed. "To the SAME person?" he added incredulously.

It made me think of a comment a very wise friend, Nancy, said to me a number of years ago.

"The older you get, the more YOU you become."

Though our circumstances may be miserable at times, I find it delightful and inspirational to see that the majority of nursing home residents always seem to find a way to see the cup half full instead of half empty. And, I encourage all direct care workers to remind those who see otherwise, to consider embracing the following adage, "Don't be sad that __________ is over. Be glad that it happened."

So, in the spirit of the Christmas season, I wish you all a very wonderful life.
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Kareen King is a Registered Drama Therapist and founder of The Golden Experience, offering keynotes, concerts, and workshops to enrich lives in long-term care. For booking information, contact her at kking@thegoldenexperience.com or visit www.thegoldenexperience.com.

Kareen's CD's which feature original songs that give voice to individuals in long-term care settings, have been used as caregiver training tools, gifts for long-term care staff and volunteers, and for personal inspiration. To hear samples and to purchase, click http://www.cdbaby.com/Artist/KareenKing.

My Favorite Things Parody Not a Favorite

2011-12-16T06:20:00.000-08:00

The Sound of Music musical contains so much potential for an engaging experience for individuals in long-term care settings. Most recently, I pieced together the "favorite things" of the long-term care residents I work with and created a couple of parodies of Rodgers and Hammerstein's "My Favorite Things." They thoroughly enjoyed the performance of the validating end product.

In the moment, it occurred to me to test the waters for their reaction to another parody of the same tune that has made its way through cyberspace for a number of years, winding up in countless email forwards. This "old geezer" parody has been accompanied by the faulty claim that Julie Andrews wrote and performed it at Radio Music Hall on her 69th, receiving a four minute standing ovation. I discovered it years ago when a coworker handed it to me to include in a mini musical we created from The Sound of Music. At the time, I sang it with a level of unease, wondering if the residents found the lyrics as humorous as the unknown author must have. But I kept my thoughts to myself.

So, this time, I asked the residents to give me their honest reaction to the lyrics which, I for one, do not find at all amusing. These are a few of their words:

"Lousy."

"It's a disgrace."

"It's a real downer."

"It makes me feel hopeless."

Some folks, who rely on hearings aids, dentures, and walkers; and who live with failing memories and dementia may not find the parody funny at all. It hits just a little too close to home.

The lyrics are as follows:

Maalox and nose drops and needles for knitting,
Walkers and handrails and new dental fittings,
Bundles of magazines tied up in string,
These are a few of my favourite things.

Cadillacs and cataracts and hearing aids and glasses,
Polident and Fixodent and false teeth in glasses,
Pacemakers, golf carts and porches with swings,
These are a few of my favourite things.

When the pipes leak,
When the bones creak,
When the knees go bad,
I simply remember my favourite things,
And then I don't feel so bad.

Hot tea and crumpets, and corn pads for bunions,
No spicy hot food or food cooked with onions,
Bathrobes and heat pads and hot meals they bring,
These are a few of my favourite things.

Back pains, confused brains, and no fear of sinnin',
Thin bones and fractures and hair that is thinnin',
And we won't mention our short shrunken frames,
When we remember our favorite things.

When the joints ache,
When the hips break,
When the eyes grow dim,
Then I remember the great life I've had,
And then I don't feel so bad.
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Kareen King is a Registered Drama Therapist and founder of The Golden Experience, offering keynotes, concerts, and workshops to enrich lives in long-term care. For booking information, contact her at kking@thegoldenexperience.com or visit www.thegoldenexperience.com.

Kareen's CD's which feature original songs that give voice to individuals in long-term care settings, have been used as caregiver training tools, gifts for long-term care staff and volunteers, and for personal inspiration. To hear samples and to purchase, click http://www.cdbaby.com/Artist/KareenKing.

A New Approach to Eating

2011-12-04T07:17:00.000-08:00

Have you ever noticed that a significant percentage of health care workers practice unhealthy habits? Kind of a paradox, isn't it?

Many years ago, I lost 29 pounds while a member of Weight Watchers. It took me three years. Shortly after reaching my goal weight, I took a job as an Activities Supervisor at a retirement community. Within two short years, I had gained all my weight back. How could this be, especially in light of how much running I did up and down hallways throughout the day?

Besides partaking of all the extra goodies such as homemade cookies, ice cream, and candy that were incorporated in the many activities I was overseeing, I also ate on the run. I somehow prided myself for my "working" lunches - literally inhaling my food while continuing with my work.

Many years later I find myself trying to reconstruct my life, examining why it is I can't seem to reclaim my health. I heartily conclude that diets don't work, but what does?

Lately, I've been listening to audio books during my travel time. One of the most useful books I've discovered is "Women, Food, and God," by Geneen Roth who claims that if we just ate like a four-year-old does, we'd eventually find ourselves returning to our natural weight.

What if we ate like the typical nursing home resident? Case in point. A few weeks ago, while rushing along with my work, I decided to sit down with a nonagenarian lady who had been sitting at a table with her lunch for at least twenty minutes. By the time I joined her, about three fourths of the food on her plate still remained. As typical of my frantic eating style, I consumed my entire plate within about two minutes.

"My, you wolfed that down in a hurry!" the lady exclaimed.

What an embarrassing wake-up call. So, this week, I have intentionally joined the elders at lunch to watch and learn. I have mimicked their eating habits, correcting myself if I find that I'm inching ahead of them. I'm astounded at the difference it makes, in terms of how much food I eat and how quickly I eat it, when I'm not paying attention.

Yesterday, one of the kitchen workers went around the dining room asking the residents if they wanted jello cake or ice cream.

"I'll take some of that jello cake," the lady sitting next to me responded.

"That's ridiculous!" the lady exclaimed to me after the kitchen worker set the cake down in front of her. "I don't eat that much anymore!"

Listening to my body, I decided to refrain from accepting a piece of cake, and instead, ate a bowl of pickled beets for dessert. And, no, it wasn't a sacrifice. I actually had a craving for them!

In the meantime, my lunch partner took one bite of her jello cake and left the rest alone.

And so, I have hope. I ate my food very slowly (and about half as much of it) the two times I dined with the elders this week. And I didn't just survive, I thrived.

I am convinced that caregivers would be healtheir and happier if they were encouraged to both savor their food and the individuals they dine with.
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Kareen King is a Registered Drama Therapist and founder of The Golden Experience, offering keynotes, concerts, and workshops to enrich lives in long-term care. For booking information, contact her at kking@thegoldenexperience.com or visit www.thegoldenexperience.com.

Kareen's CD's which feature original songs that give voice to individuals in long-term care settings, have been used as caregiver training tools, gifts for long-term care staff and volunteers, and for personal inspiration. To hear samples and to purchase, click http://www.cdbaby.com/Artist/KareenKing.

The Power of a "Live" Experience in the Nursing Home Setting

2011-12-01T21:04:00.000-08:00

"Hey Bill, would you mind if we had Kareen's Kettle in here this afternoon?" I inquired, "Though I don't want to interrupt your movie."

Because the dining room was under construction, I had to relocate my event for the nursing home residents to a living room where Bill was watching a western movie on the big screen.

"It doesn't matter to me," he replied.

Within minutes, we had the space filled with a couple dozen residents while I shared a concoction of original nature pictures, Bette Midler tunes (in honor of her December 1st birthday), headline newsbits including the tale of the 103-year-old woman and her 83-year-old daughter who had threatened to be evicted from their home, and personal anecdotes.

I invited residents, one by one, to share their metaphor for love as a means to engage them in the song, "The Rose" and asked them to think about who their everyday heroes are as I sang "Wind Beneath My Wings."

In short, we experienced a rich and engaging afternoon together as I closed it with my usual routine of having my Emilou Goldenpuppet shake hands with each resident.

"Thanks for letting us interrupt your movie, Bill," I stated while rearranging the room.I wanted him to be assured that his rights and opinions mattered.

"You're twice as good as a movie," he replied.

"Awww, you didn't have to say that. But thanks so much. You just made my day," I replied.

"Well, facts are facts," he re-emphasized.

I think it goes without saying, that a live experience usually outweighs that which is automated. Especially if it's facilitated in a way that includes any of the following:
- Invitation to allow the residents to express themselves
- Close proximity of the participants (circles and semi-circles are best)
- Variety of means of communication (music, visuals, touch, discussion, storytelling, humor, play)
- Acknowledgement of each resident (shaking hands and/or hugging before and after the experience, identifying each resident by name, showcasing the visuals to each resident one at a time, good eye contact)

The spontaneous reactions and interactions that occurred during today's "kettle" could never be replicated. And for those who participated, the experience was much appreciated.

Kareen King is a Registered Drama Therapist and founder of The Golden Experience, offering keynotes, concerts, and workshops to enrich lives in long-term care. For booking information, contact her at kking@thegoldenexperience.com or visit www.thegoldenexperience.com.

The Challenge of Creatively Engaging Nursing Home Residents

2011-11-28T20:40:00.000-08:00

Several years ago I had the opportunity of touring a long-term care community. It was a busy, bustling environment well on its way in the journey of Culture Change. Enriching activities which were facilitated by "Life Engagement" assistants were offered throughout the day, staff wore street clothes, dogs and cats were allowed to wander amongst the residents, and so forth.

Eventually I was directed to a large living room area situated adjacent to the lobby where I was invited to participate in a Lifeline Interpretation activity which was facilitated by "Megan," one of two Life Engagement assistants. I soon found myself seated with a group of approximately ten residents who were seated in a semi-circle of couches and easy chairs. Adjacent to our seating area was another seating arrangement where one could see a contented gentleman sprawled out on a large couch,

Megan handed out to each resident black and white photo copies of two figurines, a man and a woman, who were dancing at a fiesta. The copy was a bit blurry, but the essence of the experience was there.

Megan then went through a series of questions designed to elicit responses from the participants. Very few responded, nor looked engaged. The scenario resembled that of a traditional classroom in which an instructor quizzed rather than connected emotionally with the students. She functioned as more of a presenter, than an engager.

Once I was seated, a female resident stood from her seat, walked over to me and handed me her photocopy.

“Oh flitter flutter,” she said as she handed me the paper, “I don’t have any use for this.”

She proceeded to return to her seat while another resident attempted to supply her with a new picture.

“Oh, they’re all the same,” she responded, then sat down.

Beside her was a rather cynical lady, I call Martha, who appeared to be very disinterested in the whole experience.

“I can’t tell one thing from another,” she remarked.

“Use your imagination,” Megan coached.

“O.k., use your imagination, Martha quipped.

While Megan continued her questions, several distractions were occurring. Employees carried on conversations of their own in the back of the room, the two young greeters raced into the space with their maracas shaking noisily, a large dog wandered into the space, a nurse was making loud beeping noises with an instrument of sorts, and the list goes on.

The frustration was evident on Megan’s face as she politely requested one of the employees to “use your quiet voice, please,” and later shooed the young boys away.

Megan’s remaining attempts to engage the residents seemed futile as they began commenting on the pictures amongst each other.

“Doesn’t even look like she has a bra on,” on lady commented on the female dance figurine, “Just floppin.”

“Can’t tell he has a top on,” another added about the male figurine.

“Doesn’t make any difference,” another said.

“Waste of time,” retorted Martha.

Clearly frustrated, Megan apologized, “I’m sorry you feel that way.” She then paused before adding, “How can I make it more interesting?”

Nobody responded.

By then the exercise had dissolved and Megan began collecting the papers. Not knowing any other options on how to bring closure to the experience, Megan concluded with a quick, “I love you,” to the group and whisked away to assist a volunteer musician who was having difficulty setting up the music stand on the grand piano on the other side of the living room.

I was not convinced that transformation, engagement, or connection was evoked from the experience. Furthermore, the residents had little time to soak anything in before immediately having to switch gears to a musical performance that began within minutes of the activity.

Engaging nursing home residents can be a challenging experience at times because of the many variables involved. The following link which was recently featured on The Today Show, however, shows how one woman has discovered a method of creatively engaging residents that has proved successful. For information on the how residents with dementia can benefit from a group storytelling process called Time Slips, click:

http://video.today.msnbc.msn.com/today/45435491

Kareen King is a Registered Drama Therapist and founder of The Golden Experience, offering keynotes, concerts, and workshops to enrich lives in long-term care. For booking information, contact her at kking@thegoldenexperience.com or visit www.thegoldenexperience.com.

What Nursing Home Residents Are Thankful For

2011-11-24T06:00:00.000-08:00

I quizzed the residents at one of the retirement communities I work at about what they're thankful for. I asked them to be very specific. Here are a few of their answers:

"It's just good to be alive." - Rebecka

"When I worry about something, something good happens. He (God) helps me." - Eula

"This place. It's small enough so the people can communicate with one another." - Carol

"I'm thankful that my oldest granddaughter came and told me her youngest son was o.k. in Afghanistan. So it makes me think of everyone (all the military)." - Gera

"I'm thankful my granddaughter's baby is o.k. And they'll all be together at my daughter's house." - Gladys

"I lost all my contacts and all my address books so I haven't been able to stay in touch with anyone. Then my nephew (whom she hadn't seen in five years) came to see me unexpectedly." - Evelyn

"Good health and that I came out of the second World War unhurt." - Gale

"The privilege of living in this country." - Bob, a WWII veteran

"Friends and family. I don't think there's anything better than that. There isn't anything to top it. You can't say health anymore 'cause you don't got it." - Betty

My favorite answer came from a lady who had been sitting silently as the others eagerly offered their answers.

"We haven't heard from you yet, Lucy. What are you thankful for?" I probed.

"I've been acknowledging them silently," she replied.

"You're not gonna let us in on even one?" I teasingly persisted.

"You're funny."

So Lucy had the last laugh. Happy Thanksgiving.

This turkey was hanging out with my neighbor's ducks the other day. Just a few of my neighbors . . .

Kareen King is a Registered Drama Therapist and founder of The Golden Experience, offering keynotes, concerts, and workshops to enrich lives in long-term care. For booking information, contact her at kking@thegoldenexperience.com or visit www.thegoldenexperience.com.

Nursing Home Teasing

2011-11-23T21:19:00.000-08:00

"You don't bite, do ya?" one nursing home resident teased as she attempted to park herself next to one of her fellow residents during one of the group activities I was preparing for.

"If I do, I'll just gum ya to death," the other teased back.

Kareen King is a Registered Drama Therapist and founder of The Golden Experience, offering keynotes, concerts, and workshops to enrich lives in long-term care. For booking information, contact her at kking@thegoldenexperience.com or visit www.thegoldenexperience.com.

Life is Bittersweet - Ego Integrity vs. Despair

2011-11-18T14:26:00.000-08:00

I was getting ready to do my "thing" with the elders of Brookside early this morning when I felt a sudden jolt of sharp pain shoot through my ankle on the way up the stairs. Hence, I've been virtually useless for the rest of the day as all my plans were forfeited. I don't know what exactly triggered it other than perhaps overuse - I took a very lengthy walk out in the Flint Hills Nature Trail yesterday, then jumped right into a heavy workout with an exercise group I'm a part of.

In the meantime, during my evening nature walk, I was disheartened to see that virtually every last Autumn leaf has lost its brilliance. Gone is the magical season of Morning Glories, Sunflowers, Sumac, Prairie Aster, Daisies, Goldenrod, Flowering Trumpet Vines, Queen Anne's Lace, and so forth.

Notwithstanding, the Bittersweet Berry prevails, outshining and outlasting the rest of its counterparts. Perhaps it's to remind us of the bittersweet transition from autumn to winter. Bitter that we must say good-bye to what's beautiful, and sweet that we have the memory.

The same holds true with life. Those of us who are blessed to live through the Spring, Summer, and Autumn seasons of life, must eventually move on into Winter. It's bittersweet, but more bitter for some than others. Some, particularly in long-term care settings who lament over their uselessness, their losses, their invisibleness.

"I'm nothing more than a number on that medical cart," one gentleman said to me the other day.

"Do you want me to agree with you?" I countered. "Because if you do, I won't."

This was his conclusion after he insisted that his entire life's work was worth nothing now and that none of it mattered. Trying to convince him that the ice cream businesses that he ran, which provided multitudes of customers many moments of pleasure, seemed an exercise in futility. The man was holding on to his story that nothing mattered now and that nobody cares.

"I care," I persisted. "If I didn't, I wouldn't be sitting here with you having this conversation."

I resolved our time together by offering to pray with him, an offer he didn't refuse.

"Thanks," he replied. "I can tell you care."

We parted with a hug.

So, what about all those who feel their lives no longer matter? I wrestle with this each time I encounter an individual like that gentleman.

At best, we can recruit more volunteers to invest their time into validating, comforting, conversing with, or providing meaningful one-to-one activities with those who can no longer do for themselves.

We can invest more time and money in staff training, encouraging direct care workers to provide more than just physical care. We can help steer the despairing resident who is tempted to dismiss his life as meaningless, toward a place of ego integrity and resolve. Or sometimes, we can simply offer a prayer and a hug.

Some may wonder why some keep on living, though seemingly useless to the rest of the world. I concur that it's not always about us. Perhaps their uselessness provides purpose for another. And so it goes. . .

Life is bittersweet. And that's just the way it is.

Kareen King is a Registered Drama Therapist and founder of The Golden Experience, offering keynotes, concerts, and workshops to enrich lives in long-term care. For booking information, contact her at kking@thegoldenexperience.com or visit www.thegoldenexperience.com.

A Person-Centered World?

2011-11-15T08:50:00.000-08:00

I am convinced that if we took as much effort in knowing our own spouses, children, parents, co-workers, and neighbors as we do when assessing our long-term care residents and designing their care plans within the paradigm of person-centered care, our world would be an extraordinary place. - Kareen King, RDT
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Kareen King is a Registered Drama Therapist and founder of The Golden Experience, offering keynotes, concerts, and workshops to enrich lives in long-term care. For booking information, contact her at kking@thegoldenexperience.com or visit www.thegoldenexperience.com.

Least Favorite Color - Grey Hair!

2011-11-13T13:24:00.000-08:00

I tried a new game with the residents called "My Favorite/Least Favorite Thing" from The Therapist Playbook by Pamela Van der Laan.

The way I worked it was to arrange the residents in a large, but close-knit circle during a creative movement activity I call Movers & Shakers. After we danced in our seats to Eva Cassidy's jazzy rendition of Wade in the Water from her Songbird album, I switched gears and added some brain exercises.

"O.k. ladies and gentlemen, we're going to go around the circle and declare our favorite and least favorite colors."

While seated on a medical stool and armed with a cordless mic, I then moved from resident to resident, asking one resident to identify his favorite color, followed by the next resident to identify his least favorite color and so forth until we made it all the way around the circle.

As expecteed, black and brown were the least favorite colors. Blue and yellow were often cited as favorite colors, along with pink, red, green, and purple. It also drew a few chuckles when a color was identified as both the favorite and the least favorite color, particularly when the answers came back to back. This occurred with red and yellow.

The best moment was yet to come as I approached one of the last gentlemen for his least favorite color.

"Grey hair!" he shouted.

.......................................................................................................................

Kareen King is a Registered Drama Therapist and founder of The Golden Experience, offering keynotes, concerts, and workshops to enrich lives in long-term care. For booking information, contact her at kking@thegoldenexperience.com.

Veterans With Dementia Tell Their Story

2011-11-12T19:20:00.000-08:00

It's a fascinating phenemona to peer into the world of the individual who lives with dementia.
Yesterday, I observed a pair of elderly Veterans with dementia conversing with each other before an event in which they were to be honored. I joined in the conversation as well.

Me: Tell me your thoughts about America and our military.

B: I'm old so I know better.

Me: What about the flag?

B: They didn't put many steps on it. But they know how to do.

M: They got it loose too.

B: It's a fixed item.

M: Been that way for a couple weeks.

Me: What does the flag stand for?

B: I know what we are and what you just said 'cause I spent some time on edge.

M: It stands for America. All Americans. I was only fightin' for it 33 months and I must have been fightin' for something.

B: (To M) I just noticed somethin' - our matchin' shoes.

M: Mine are $89.00.

B: Mine aren't $89.00 - that's for sure. I'm a firing young man.

M: Hey, I have a question.

B: Mmmm?

M: What have they asked you, what you were in the service?

B: I was in about three years.

M: What they call that?

B: What's the place they call that when I came in?

M: You mean when you came in?

B: Not the invasion of the . . . I was in the U.S. Coast invasion division. The Coast Guard indivision. I was shot at. You had to go in backwards so you didn't get your eyes shot at.

Though they may be losing touch with the words that describe what they experienced, the stories are still very much alive and well within these men who served our country.

Kareen King is a Registered Drama Therapist and founder of The Golden Experience, offering keynotes, concerts, and workshops to enrich lives in long-term care. For booking information, contact her at kking@thegoldenexperience.com.

Some Old Soldiers Fade Away

2011-11-11T20:26:00.000-08:00

Today I played my clarinet during a "Name That Patriotic Tune" experience for the residents I served at a skilled nursing facility. I began with standards such as "God Bless America," "Yankee Doodle Dandee," and "My Country 'Tis of Thee," then moved to some unfamiliar classics including, "Old Soldiers Never Die (They Just Fade Away)."

"Isn't that what we're doing here?" quipped one of the veterans we were honoring, albeit with an endearing grin on his face.

"Well, whatever you do, don't let that grin fade from your face," I countered.

Later, I quizzed him about his military experience, asking him what memory stood out more than any other.

"Why I'm 80 years old! I was twenty back then," he resisted.

"Surely something stands out," I insisted.

As a Korean War veteran, he then recounted a parade being held in Tokyo to honor General Douglas MacArthur.

"Only the soldiers six foot and taller were allowed to march in the parade," this short-in-stature man reminisced.

"That hardly seems fair!" I sympathized. "What did you think about that?"

"I wanted to crawl under my bed and hide."

Perhaps, for some, it is true. Old soldiers never die. They just fade away.

Kareen King is a Registered Drama Therapist and founder of The Golden Experience, offering keynotes, concerts, and workshops to enrich lives in long-term care. For booking information, contact her at kking@thegoldenexperience.com.

Improv Stories for Nursing Home Residents - The Inciting Incident

2011-11-07T18:09:00.000-08:00

The CEO of the two retirement communities I work for is a lover of spontaneity and play. He recently requested that I capitalize on available moments with staff and residents by trying on a little theater improv here and there.

So during a recent resident birthday party, I came up with some impromptu storytelling for our birthday residents, making them principal characters in their stories. I did this by asking some of the nearby staff to give me some hints about the individuals we were honoring.

Once I had a nugget or two to work with, the storytelling began, one sentence at a time, utilizing the ideas that surfaced from the group. I encouraged the audience to be as imaginative as possible. One of the birthday residents used to be a member of her high school swim team. So, with the help of our playful participants, many delightful and humorous stories emerged. The following is just one example. The underlined words and phrases are those which were created "popcorn" style as I left certain sentences unfinished with the invitation for others to complete the story lines.

Once upon a time there was born into the world a lovely individual named "Jane." There was absolutely no one like her in the whole wide world. She had an amazing ability unlike anyone else which was the ability to swim in every way imaginable. She could swim from her home here in ____ to her old High School. She could do the crawl stroke and the Butterfly stroke. And alongside her swam a Doberman Pincher. Together they made waves. In fact, they made waves so big, they went into the sky. Once they got as high as the sky they hiccupped, which took them even higher until they fell down like the giant from Jack and the Beanstalk. But they weren’t hurt because, like Humpty Dumpty, they were put back together again and lived happily ever after.

So, maybe the above story example isn't all that compelling. But, here's what does make a story compelling:

What makes a story interesting is an "inciting incident" which disrupts the status quo. An inciting incident is the narrative "hook" that grabs the attention of the reader or audience member. It's where the action begins. Then, what keeps things interesting is the rising action that builds as the principal character experiences change as he encounters obstacles and conflicts. But that's another story.

Let's face it. Nobody wants to watch a film or read a book where nothing happens. And nobody enjoys the same old, same old routine in the long-term care setting. So consider creating "inciting incidents" in the workplace such as the spontaneous birthday improv stories mentioned above. Change the status quo every now and then and you will not only experience greater pleasure in what you're doing, but you will have created greater pleasure for those around you. And that's what makes this whole journey all the more compelling.

Kareen King is a Registered Drama Therapist and founder of The Golden Experience, offering keynotes, concerts, and workshops to enrich lives in long-term care. For booking information, contact her at kking@thegoldenexperience.com.

Andy Rooney - Ulyssean Adult

2011-11-05T06:29:00.000-07:00

'60 Minutes' commentator Andy Rooney dies

Hallowed Spider Webs

2011-10-27T11:00:00.000-07:00

Fog. It settled in the Northeast Kansas countryside the other morning. At first I thought it the perfect excuse to not bother going for a walk. But, I talked myself into venturing out into the gloomy landscape anyway, just to force myself to get the exercise I needed.

What I didn't expect was the magic that hid behind it. To my sheer delight, every intricate spider web was a glorious showcase of God's handiwork due to the early morning's sun's rays which illuminated the light mist left by the fog. I took countless pictures that morning and printed many of them off to showcase to the residents this week as we have fun with Halloween.

And Halloween, by the way, if you delve a little closer than the well intended but misinformed religious naysayers who think it's an evil word, is merely the nickname for "All Hallow's Eve," the eve before All Saints Day.

I'm here to testify that the residents were in awe of these "hallowed" images that I would have missed if I wouldn't have taken that second look.

Kareen King is a Registered Drama Therapist and founder of The Golden Experience, offering keynotes, concerts, and workshops to enrich lives in long-term care. For booking information, contact her at kking@thegoldenexperience.com.

"Why Doesn't Anyone Come My Way?"

2011-10-21T07:02:00.000-07:00

Activity calendars. They suggest that a long-term-care community is providing life enrichment opportunities that meet the needs of the residents. But they never tell the whole story.

For example, perhaps ten percent, at best, of the residents will attend a bus outing or field trip. What's occuring with the other 90%?

Recently, I roved the hallways and dining rooms with my Emilou puppet to see what opportunities awaited. What I found were several lonely, unengaged, low-functioning elders who were hungry for a personal touch, though many were unable to voice it.

One exception was "Leo" who caught my attention as he sat in his wheelchair watching the staff whisk by, back and forth, me included. He had suddenly begun waving his arms, mimicking the comings and goings of those who appeared too busy to notice him otherwise.

"Why won't somebody come my way?" he asked as I moved toward him.

"Well, why don't you come along with me?" I invited. "I know just what you're talking about. And I have a song I'd like to sing just for you."

Immediately he scooted himself along, following me to the piano.

"You're running here, running there, you're just running everywhere, when all I've got is time," I sang as he nodded his head.

I then sang several more songs, inserting his name for a personal touch.

"Thank you, thank you," he beamed.

That was just the beginning. I later found myself giving personal concerts and/or hugs to those who lay on their beds, those who sat alone at tables, those who appeared unresponsive; yet whose slightest nod, half-smile, or hand-squeeze affirmed their personhood and level of awareness.

Some had already retreated into their own world of activities. One gentleman was busy "tending to his cattle" as he lay in his bed.

Another gentleman thought he had just received a delectable treat as the charge nurse handed him a dietary shake.

"I'm sittin' good," he declared as I lowered my body to look into his eyes and shake his hand. "You and I will have to go load up a mule," he added with a delighted grin.

Kareen King is a Registered Drama Therapist and founder of The Golden Experience, offering keynotes, concerts, and workshops to enrich lives in long-term care. For booking information, contact her at kking@thegoldenexperience.com.

Activity Professionals as Playful Jugglers

2011-10-18T07:28:00.000-07:00

Enjoyed presenting at the Minnesota Statewide Activity Professional (SWAP) 2011 Annual Conference where I met many individuals who have been in the field, some for over forty years!

I also took the opportunity to sit in on Carr Hagerman's (who also did the opening keynote) break-out session. Carr is a professional speaker and talented street performer (aka the "Rat Catcher") for the Minnesota Renaissance Festival. I felt an immediate connection with his message which focused on dancing with the unexpected, oftentimes the imperfect unexpected, while in the middle of a performance. He stressed the importance of creating good energy, cultivating more playfulness, and being "the lightning bolt" in the space around you.

This of course, looks easy for someone like Carr who is used to taking playful, improvisational risks with perfect strangers on a regular basis. Carr testifies, however, that "a juggler is a culmination of ENDLESS FAILURES."

You'll never get anywhere, if you don't bust out of your own bubble of comfort at some point. Being a great improvisational performer requires that one is willing to take risks, to look like a fool, and to accept what's thrown at him at any given moment. All for the sake of brightening the lives of those around you. And being a great Activity Professional requires the same.

This is the daily opportunity that lies in wait for those who work in the field of long-term care. We are jugglers too, but how much more wonderful if we can take what's thrown at us, both good and bad, and PLAY with it!

Speaking of "playfulness," here sits Emilou Goldenpuppet, front-row center during my closing keynote.

Communicating Love Through Music

2011-10-11T09:09:00.000-07:00

I'm getting ready to head to Minnesota to present for the Minnesota Statewide Activity Professional conference in St. Cloud. I'll be doing the closing keynote as well as a session on Communicating Through Music.

Speaking of communicating through music, I want to share about "Joan." Joan is someone I grew well acquainted with a few years back when I worked full-time at her long-term care community. She was quite cantankerous and proudly declared she was not interested in group activities. Her activity of choice was hanging out with a male buddy who eventually moved away. Then I quit my full-time job and didn't see her again until I returned for a one-day-a-week consulting job three years later. I once heard that Joan was deeply depressed.

It was apparent when I returned to her "home," that Joan had lost her spunk, as well as, for the most part, her voice. To an outsider looking in, Joan would look much like the stereotypical nursing home "slumper," as some might describe as being "out of it," or "not all there."

One day, I sat next to her at her dining room table where she sat with a blank stare looking nowhere.

"Joan," I tested, "I still remember you as that feisty lady who always refused to come out for my group activities."

Joan appeared unresponsive.

"I just want you to know that I remember you and that I love you," I continued as I leaned in to her and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

"I'm glad you didn't forget me," she suddenly replied, turning her gaze toward me.

I was dumbfounded.

"Joan, I'm going to be here every week. How 'bout I bring my guitar to your room and give you a little concert each week? Would you like that?"

"Yes," she smiled.

Since that day, several months ago, I've fulfilled my promise. Each week she would either respond with an occasional comment such as, "That was beautiful," would squeeze my hand tightly, or would lean her head into my neck when I would hug her.

Last week, I wasn't able to make it to her room during the day. But I had to return later in the evening and decided I had better fulfill my promise.

I snuck into her room and gently woke her up, asking permission to share my music with her. She never took her gaze off me, not even when I said "good-bye," and exited her room. I blew her a kiss and waved as I left.

I trust, that even if she can no longer speak, she is taking in the music, and the love that goes with it.

Kareen King is a Registered Drama Therapist and founder of The Golden Experience, offering keynotes, concerts, and workshops to enrich lives in long-term care. For booking information, contact her at kking@thegoldenexperience.com.

Mary Maxwell: Off-the-Cuff Wit

2011-10-07T06:08:00.000-07:00

Mary Maxwell, comedic YouTube Sensation, plays along with Emilou.

I just returned from presenting my "Finding Emilou" plenary concert at the Illinois Pioneer Coalition Summit in Springfield, Illinois. What a wonderful conference and an enthusiastic (standing ovation) reception to Emilou's story. I met a lot of wonderful, talented caregivers and providers who are champions of Culture Change, the movement which promotes person-centered/person-directed care in long-term care communities.

On the last day, I found myself sitting next to the Youtube sensation, Mary Maxwell, at the dinner table before her endnote. I observed her sit quietly with notes in her lap while the surrounding constituents finished their desserts and wrapped up their conversations.

I couldn't resist asking her to pose with my Emilou puppet, which she graciously accommodated.

"She has my teeth," Mary quipped. "Literally."

A few minutes later, I initiated yet another interaction.

"Are you nervous, or is this just a piece of cake?" I probed.

"I'm always nervous and I (glancing at her empty dessert plate) had a piece of cake," she quipped without missing a beat.

The lady is a genius.

Oldering - A Tribute to (and by) Patrick Bihlmaier

2011-09-27T20:31:00.000-07:00

I just received word today that a friend of mine passed away. Patrick Bihlmaier was the first student I connected with at the Kansas State University Drama Therapy program. He was my mask-making partner in a Creative Arts Therapies course. And what was extra special about him at the time was that he began his Masters Degree program at the ripe young age of sixty. Patrick truly epitomized what it is to be a Ulyssean adult.

To pay tribute to him, I am passing along Patrick's own adventurous older adulthood journey, with his permission. These are words he sent to me two short years ago after releasing his first album - a dream he'd had for years.

Actually I think my life is the more natural one… but maybe that’s just because I want it to be. What I mean is, in America our focus is so much on youth and success and physical prowess we think that unless a child has found their niche and achieved stardom by the time they are 16 – that one doesn’t have natural ability. (There’s a great country song -you’ve heard- making fun of that stereotype as applies to music). That only works for the privileged few (or the really driven) who have opportunity to develop and excel when they are that young. I bought into that myth unfortunately and spent a lot of years regretting that I had not kept up the music and acting that I began in my first and second grade at school. My third grade teacher took it upon herself to insure me that life was not all song and dance and that school was not meant to be fun.

Well, now that I’ve started many years earlier than you had in mind. I’ll say that I always knew I was meant to be a musician. But events in my childhood and a very pragmatic environment convinced me I had to become something else. I tried hard, with some success. I raised my family. I ran my own building business and was independent. I was also deeply unhappy every day because I was striving in wrong directions. So when my daughter had just one more year of high school I began to pursue music. I began classes in California where I lived at the time but it was so expensive to earn a living there a night class was all I could manage and it wasn’t very satisfying. Then the recession of l990 intervened and I left California (for the summer). While visiting my parents for several months I discovered going to school in Kansas was a lot easier than in Ca. Subsequently I got my BA in music and theatre in 1994. It was a hard place for a “vulnerable-feeling” non-traditional student because the college (in spite of their rhetoric to the contrary) firmly embraced the stereotype that supported youth who excelled but had never seen the likes of me. But I met one good teacher there who convinced me that music was indeed a “learned skill” (not a gift from God, meant to be discovered at three years of age) and that I was making great strides in learning and that yes I had a natural ability given the opportunity to learn other aspects of music.

I still had to be convinced. I set about that by continuing to work at carpentry, part time, and establishing a coffee house which was primarily my way of creating a place where I could feature singer-songwriters in concert. It was the way I decided to approach “learning the music business” and meeting other writers. I spent many long days in the coffee house learning to write songs, or maybe I should say how Not to write songs. I learned mostly in that era what does not work, but I’ve heard it said that failure is the best teacher? During those coffee house days I was encouraged to record the songs I was writing at the time. I declined, saying they were not professional enough and I would never record until I felt my songs were, at least, adequate.

Note here Kareen – I think this part of my experience is the most valuable to most, older people, I’ll let you decide. I became discouraged again after the coffee house proved not to be the best environment for me (I hate to be inside so much) and I was once again at loose ends. I wanted to find a way to write more but I still needed to make a living and I began to search for a way I could be gainfully employed in a field that was more artistic. I did quite a number of plays in community theatre during this time and continued with carpentry while actively searching for “something” aligned with art but not necessarily musical in nature. I reasoned during this period that education was a necessary ingredient of qualifications for a position in an art field and wrote to several major colleges about play writing/directing programs that they might offer. What I found, quite serendipitously, was the Drama Therapy program at Kansas State University.

Drama Therapy was perfect for me. I was an actor, I had spent lots of time and energy overcoming early developmental obstacles of my own, I had sorted out my own pessimism and all I recognized that all I needed to be useful to others in Drama Therapy was the vocabulary (and scientific underpinnings of therapy) to be of use to others. Getting my Masters degree in drama therapy was a lot of hard work and a the most fun I’d had in years, plus I found a sort of collaborative environment that I had been looking for. Oddly enough it was in my last semester of getting that degree that I began to play music for the first time as a way to relax and relieve stress, rather than as something to be mastered. I began to play daily, working over old songs of mine that I had discarded/given up on. I didn’t think I had time to play, I thought I was crazy for expending energy I needed to finis a last, very hectic semester, but as I played some each day I found I had more energy for my studies, not less. It’s kind of odd that it was just before I finished that degree/course of study that I came back to music in a brand new frame of mind.

Now, five years later, I have come back to music full time. Events in my life (the death of my father, my mother being 94 years of age and needing me close, being in an ongoing, romantic, permanent relationship) conspire to keep me in Salina Kansas. This works, because I am now in a position to pursue writing/performance full time. More to the point for “us older achievers” is the fact that I’ve gained the confidence to pursue my passion full time. I got a grant to record eight of my original songs. I knew these songs were good enough I could stand to listen to the recorded version for the rest of my life. But once again I got very lucky. I believe we make our own luck by being prepared.

I asked a friend (Dean Kranzler) who is a highly skilled, professional drummer to be involved in the process of recording. He eventually introduced me to a guitar player (Steve Jirak) who serendipitously became the producer for the recording project because he (unbidden) became a collaborator in the arrangement of the songs – and even contributed musical creations for some. Because I expressed confidence in my own material but was open to changes in them as well, I did make changes and improvements to
several of the songs as recording progressed. More importantly for me I wrote two new songs during this process too. The inspiration of playing every day, working on the songs and being given feedback on the changes I came up with caused two new, complete songs to happen. The fruits of failure I call them. Because remember I said failure is the best teacher. I have learned what it takes to hone a song now. Not all the songs on the CD are completely successful but they are professional. (For instance there is one word in one song that I believe prevents people from fully enjoying the story – I’ll let you decide which song that is).

At any rate, I have just turned another corner. I have spent the last few years actively seeking collaboration with music and striving to please others with the style of music I was writing, making, performing. I now know what my niche is… at long last. As a musician/song writer you’re constantly asked “what do you play/write” meaning what Style of music do you do? Not that I will ever define myself too narrowly but I have discovered what genre is most “natural” to me and I am spending lots of time right now learning songs in that style.

I’m 66 years old. I continue to come more completely into my own with each passing year and the accompanying events. I believe this to be a very natural life style at this stage of human evolution. I don’t think I’m a “late bloomer” except by American standards. I do know I am privileged to be able to pursue a “natural” life, but given other circumstances I think I would have still found a way to get here. It is a surprise to me that I am not still involved with drama therapy, and actually I am because I do a session a week at the Sunflower Adult Daycare facility, working mostly with (various stages) of dementia. But as far as looking for employment as a drama therapist I don’t envision that right now. I’ve also given up carpentry because my body has been damaged by the effects of physical stress which is now interfering with movement/music. (An operation on my thumb will be a big help correcting part of the damage caused by over using my body as a tool).

Today I’m customizing my own harmonicas, writing and learning. I have at least two songs almost ready for the next CD. I am the happiest I have ever been in my life. My friend Mary says I am always doing something. That’s true but I call it always progressing in some way. Maybe the biggest challenge I ever faced in life was a instilled sense of pessimism. I am now what is described in a book, by the same name, as a “learned optimist”. I am what I always was, a writer (story teller) and musician. I just took a circuitous route so I’d have lots to write about. And, I have a lot of time left to enjoy being.

The last word I received from Patrick via phone conversation last week regarding death was, "I'm o.k. with it."

Thanks, Patrick, for making the world a better place.

This is a photo of the mask I made from the mold Patrick helped me create.

Kareen King is a Registered Drama Therapist and founder of The Golden Experience, offering keynotes, concerts, and workshops to enrich lives in long-term care. For booking information, contact her at kking@thegoldenexperience.com.

Country Photos Lead to the Appalachian Mountains (Joy in the Journey of Dementia)

2011-09-24T21:58:00.000-07:00

“When you go out walking, the whole world jumps out at you if you’ll let it. I enjoy those pictures because I used to walk the Bald Mountain in eastern Tennessee. Since you like to take walks, I want to take you into the mountains and show you the ginseng and all the flowers you showed us. There are so many trails. If you took one trip to the Appalachian Mountains with me, you’d wanna come back.
What you need is a frying pan and a gun. 22. Kill you some squirrels and have yourself some squirrel dumplin’s. I hope you come visit me there and we won’t do nothin’ there but walk.”

These words were spoken to me in a private conversation by Leonard, an individual with dementia who uses a wheel chair and oxygen, after having enjoyed my nature photo show-and-tell with a group of residents in a skilled nursing facility.

So how did a set of photos lead to a new reality? The following is a breakdown of this mini “golden experience.”

How I Introduced the Experience:
"Since most of you are no longer able to get into these trails yourself and maneuver your bodies into some of the precarious positions necessary for the best views, I’m bringing them to you."

The Showing:
I then either showcased the pictures, which served as visual cues, by holding them at eye level, one by one, to the residents or handed them to those who were capable of passing them along to their neighbors.
(The pictures are 8 ½ by 11 inch color photocopies of colorful close-ups of nature – all of which came from my cell phone camera during my country walks).

The Closing:
- I thanked each of the residents for coming and invited hugs from each resident.

Leonard’s remarks, as a result of the experience, support the concept that people with dementia have three needs:
1. Someone to love: Leonard wants to continue the experience by inviting me to join him in an experience he creates in another setting, though with similar components in it (the flowers) to affirm our commonalities and strengthen the rapport.
2. Something to do: Leonard exercises self-empowerment by serving as my instructor and guide.
3.Something to look forward to: Leonard suddenly experiences a new reality. He is no longer in the nursing home, but a resident of the Appalachian Mountains, anticipating my arrival.

May I suggest, however, that all of us need someone to love, something to do, and something to look forward to.

Kareen King is a Registered Drama Therapist and founder of The Golden Experience, offering keynotes, concerts, and workshops to enrich lives in long-term care. For booking information, contact her at kking@thegoldenexperience.com.

Why Health Care Professionals Need The Golden Experience

2011-09-22T08:02:00.000-07:00

I just returned from the American Health Care Association Convention held in Las Vegas where I presented a workshop entitled "Therapeutic Play for the Caregiver and Client."

It was incredibly affirming to note that play was mentioned by Daniel Pink, the opening keynote presenter and author of "Drive," as one of the six most important abilities that matter most in the health care industry. That along with empathy, story, meaning, symphony, and design.

His keynote, along with the Tony Hsieh's endnote on creating a culture of happiness, further affirmed why I believe what I have to offer through The Golden Experience is important to the health care industry, particularly in long term care. According to Pink, the health-care industry is in need of a new set of abilities which include an emphasis on empathy and artistry. Furthermore, too much of what occurs during presentations at conferences and conventions is information which can easily be automated. Oftentimes conference attendees will complain they are being power-pointed to death.

According to Pink, "artists give the world something they didn't know they were missing." And thus, enter The Golden Experience. For event planners, gate keepers, and decision makers who are looking for a one-of-a-kind keynote, concert, or workshop to empower, enrich, and educate caregivers in what matters most, consider the following:

My presentations are memorable and experiential, thus increasing the residual impact in the workplace.
My presentations use artistic narrative to support theoretical content.
My presentations help people become “big picture” thinkers, identifying what’s needed to make things better.
My presentations include opportunities to experience empathy, empowering LTC workers in what matters most to residents and their families – care and concern of staff (2010-2011 National Survey of Customer and Employee Satisfaction in Nursing Homes - National Report).
My presentations include opportunities to experience play.
My presentations help clarify deeper purpose in LTC workers, thus increasing their level of personal happiness and job satisfaction.

For testimonials, click: http://www.thegoldenexperience.com/p/endorsements.html

For video excerpts, click: http://www.thegoldenexperience.com/p/kareen-on-you-tube.html

For booking information, click: http://www.thegoldenexperience.com/p/booking-info.html

Kareen King is a Registered Drama Therapist and founder of The Golden Experience, offering keynotes, concerts, and workshops to enrich lives in long-term care. For booking information, contact her at kking@thegoldenexperience.com.

Dementia Doesn't Steal the Gift of Musicianship

2011-09-15T19:15:00.000-07:00

This individual who lives with dementia, sat down and played the piano with endless fluidity during the lunch hour in a skilled nursing facility.

"That was just off the cuff," she remarked after I oohed and aahed. "I don't pretend to be accomplished."

Moments

2011-09-08T19:38:00.000-07:00

Moments. It's what makes a day special. Today's special moments included taking several residents out individually for walks to the pond in front of one of the retirement communities where I work. Together, each of the residents and I took in the beautiful breeze, the pastoral setting, the sunshine, and the refreshing water. The highlight of the one-to-one walks occurred with a woman who has gradually ceased speaking and who has demonstrated less and less emotional affect. I asked her if she'd like to go for a short walk outdoors. She nodded yes. After taking her outside, I detected a slight smile. I then asked if she'd prefer sitting in the shade, strolling through the flowers, or going to the pond. I got no response. So I sat with her and waited. I then made an executive decision.

"We're going down to the pond," I declared, even though I was exhausted from a long day and two previous walks up and down the hill toward the pond.

I wheeled her down the long sidewalk until we parked right in front of the water. I looked over at her after we were situated and saw she had a tear streaming down one cheek.

"Is that a tear?" I asked, gently wiping her face.

Though I got no further indication as to what she was experiencing, I assume that she was moved emotionally.

Emilou had a brief encounter with a miniature horse, front and backside!

The woman above was moved by a hug from my puppet, Emilou.

"I'll never forget this," she declared as she embraced Emilou as if she were a real human being.

Kareen King is a Registered Drama Therapist and founder of The Golden Experience, offering keynotes, concerts, and workshops to enrich lives in long-term care. For booking information, contact her at kking@thegoldenexperience.com.

Country Beauty - Bringing it to the Residents

2011-09-05T08:21:00.000-07:00

“I was in the banks of San Clemente in California and got up early to walk the beach. While there, I saw a little boy playing in the sand. The little boy was from New Zealand. I asked him if he’d seen Yellow Stone National Park yet. He replied, ‘It’s just beautiful, but in New Zealand, you don’t have to travel so far to see such beauty,'' Helen, a ninety-something-year-old Assisted Living resident, reminisced.

Helen's remarks surfaced in response to a relationship the residents have developed with some New Zealand nursing home pen pals. This unique experience has provided a platform for the residents to exchange stories, questions, and interesting anecdotes.

Beauty is also a topic that has emerged in recent weeks with the residents. I have been sharing pictures of country scenes during my morning walks. What has been most compelling is discovering beauty that’s hidden in harvested corn fields or in ditches. The residents have enjoyed close-up views of morning glories, sunflowers, wildflowers, weeds, and more. It’s a unique way to engage them in what many of them are no longer able to experience. And it’s a reminder, that if we take time to really look, we can find beauty in the most unexpected places.

The photos on this post were taken this morning, a glorious way to celebrate Labor Day in Kansas.

Every Church Has Its Own Heaven?

2011-08-31T20:58:00.000-07:00

I recently had the pleasure of visiting with a couple of older women during lunch at a skilled nursing facility. In the course of our conversation we discussed the various churches in the county, and the frustration over people being protective of or territorial over their denominations.

"I think when we get to heaven, we won't identify ourselves by our denominations, don't ya think?" I probed.

"Don't you think each church believes in its own heaven?" quipped one of the ladies.
By God, she has a point.

Kareen King is a Registered Drama Therapist and founder of The Golden Experience, offering keynotes, concerts, and workshops to enrich lives in long-term care.

Marriage Advice from Elders in Long-Term Care Settings

2011-08-26T08:22:00.000-07:00

My oldest son is getting married tomorrow. I've been collecting advice from nursing home residents over the past couple weeks to pass on to him and his wife.

The following is great wisdom worth noting.

Don’t both get mad at the same time. (Tom, married 66 years)

Get the Bible and go by it. (Albert, married 53 years)

Never go to sleep without kissing each other. (Patricia, Albert's wife)

Be honest with each other. (Mary, married 66 years)

Don’t go to bed mad. (George, married over 60 years)

Behave yourself. (Laura, married “a long time”)

Humor your wife. Let her have the things she wants. The reason I say that is that when I was a little boy, my dad worked while my mother was a homemaker. We would take a Saturday night trip to the grocery store every week. My dad and me would wait in the car while my mother shopped. When she returned my dad would ask, ‘Did you get everything you wanted?’ ‘No. I didn’t get the celery or the walnuts for the waldorf salad,’ she would say. ‘Why not?’ he’d ask. ‘Because I spent everything you gave me in the grocery store.’ My father was a good man and a hard worker, but he was tighter than the hinges on a barn door. I made up my mind I wasn’t going to treat my wife that way. I have a goal that when I die I wanna have no money left for people to fight about. Even my own gravedigger should get fifty cents if I have it left to give. (Melvin, married 52 years)

Keep on loving her. (Jo, age 101, married 74 ½ years)

Be fair and respect each other. (Helen, married 68 years)

Never go to bed mad at her. Don’t complain about her cooking. Never forget her birthday. Or anniversary either! (Doreen, married 53 ½ years)

Patience is important. Be your own person. (Zic, married 60 years)

Take her out to dinner once in awhile. (Ann, married 63 years)

Don’t expect perfection. Don’t talk bad about your husband to other people. If somebody says something bad about your husband, just keep your mouth shut. There’s a lot of things we just gotta ignore unless it would really hurt someone. (Jean, married 35 years)

Nothing’s worth fighting over. We didn’t fight, but talked things over about what was right for both of us. (Margaret, married 79 years)

The first thing to do is not to get a wife to work a different shift than you’re working. Treat your wife the best you can ‘cause when she’s gone, you’ll really miss her. Don’t fiddle around and get tangled with someone else. (Merlin)

Keep yourself straight - tellin’ the truth. (Charlie, married fifty years)

It’s give and take. The vows are for better or for worse so take them both. My husband and I always went by the ten commandments. No love is more beautiful than the love of God. It costs a lot more to get divorced than to get married. We had a very good marriage. We never went to bed mad at each other. We always kissed each other good night. Not a day goes by that I don’t miss him. I always remember the good times. I never remember the bad times. (Arlene, widowed four years, married fifty years, married for four years before that)

If you’re an alcoholic, it’s not gonna last. If you’re a good worker, you oughtta make it. If you think anything of your wife, she’s the best friend you could have. Not everybody’s this lucky. I got a great wife. I only knew her three months before I married her. The longest way home is the sweetest. (Laverne, married 68 years)

When you make a decision stay with it. I made a decision and I stuck with it. (Gera, Laverne’s wife)

If you make a mistake, admit it. Never support a man, which I had to do for eight years. Never make a promise you don’t plan on keeping. (Ellie, married eight years to first husband, six and a half “good years” to the second)

Treat your spouse with respect and compromise. A good sexual relationship is important. Go to church and believe in God. Try to look your best. Cook! Don’t make t.v. dinners. (Carol, married 41 years)

Kareen King, RDT is founder of The Golden Experience - Keynotes, Concerts, & Workshops to Enrich Lives in Long-Term Care. For more information, visit http://www.thegoldenexperience.com/. Email Kareen King at kking@thegoldenexperience.com.

Dealing With Crap - View from a Former Nursing Home Administrator

2011-08-20T12:06:00.000-07:00

A few months ago my husband and I hired someone to clean out our septic tank, a long overdue task. This was on the heels of a recent discussion I'd had with the nursing home residents about the fascinating subject of debris. I'm not kidding. It is a fascinating subject.

Anyway, after the sanitation specialist finished the job, he knocked on my door with an invoice. As he waited for me to retrieve my checkbook, I suddenly realized I had been somewhat "itting" him by viewing him as a commodity, rather than a human being. So I started up a conversation.

"What on earth made you decide to make a living dealing with peoples' crap?" I inquired, sharing about my work with elders and our recent discussion which noted the various occupations that deal with debris.

"Well, I used to be a nursing home administrator."

"Are you serious?" I responded, marveling at the mutual commonality we shared that I would have missed had I not inquired about his current occupation.

"Yeah, I got tired of taking peoples' crap, so I decided to push it out instead."

Note: According to research, nursing home administrators of skilled nursing facilities confront difficult challenges including small support staff, limited reimbursements for overhead expenses, difficulties in recruiting direct care workers, a challenging regulatory environment, along with a perception that nursing homes are institutions that should be avoided by anyone with the exception of the most incapacitated individuals. (Source: Stoil, Michael. Documenting the Disappearing Administrator. 2002. http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m3830/is_1_51/ai_83152186/)

Fortunately, Culture Change, with its emphasis on person-centered care, is making progress in changing the perception of skilled nursing facilities and improving the quality of life of residents and job satisfaction in nursing home settings.

For more on The Golden Experience - Keynotes, Concerts, & Workshops to Enrich Lives in Long-Term Care, visit http://www.thegoldenexperience.com/. Email Kareen King at kking@thegoldenexperience.com.

Can I Hear an "Amen"? (How Music Connects With Individuals Living With Dementia)

2011-08-15T07:37:00.000-07:00

Drum roll please...You are about to experience one of the most priceless and hilarious moments in a nursing home setting. The entertainer is Cary Mock (www.stagetostage.net) who, along with his wife, Alicia (my baby sister), "wowed" a group of residents at a skilled nursing facility.

To be noted: the gentleman (not pictured) who shouts "Amen!" at the end of the performance, lives with dementia. But, there is no doubt that this performance of "On the Sunny Side of the Street" truly connected with him. Also, I must say "Bravo!" to my brother-in-law, Cary who performed very enthusiastically in spite of the fact that he was suffering from extreme physical pain at the time.

Kareen King | Finding Emilou 4 of 4

2011-08-13T14:03:00.000-07:00

Video courtesy of Dickson Beall, http://stlouisan.com/

Professional recordings of songs about Emilou can be purchased at http://www.cdbaby.com/Artist/KareenKing

For more on The Golden Experience - Keynotes, Concerts, & Workshops to Enrich Lives in Long-Term Care, visit http://www.thegoldenexperience.com/. Email Kareen King at kking@thegoldenexperience.com.
Posted by Kareen King at 4:05 AM 0 com

Kareen King | Finding Emilou 3 of 4

2011-08-13T00:47:00.000-07:00

Kareen King | Finding Emilou Part 2 of 4

2011-08-10T04:05:00.000-07:00

Finding Emilou - Part One

2011-08-05T12:26:00.000-07:00

I just returned from presenting at the Pioneer Network Conference in St. Charles, MO where I joined approximately 1,700 participants in the cause of advancing Culture Change, that is, person-centered care, in long-term care environments.Of primary importance in this important paradigm shift is relationship, or putting the person before the task.

I presented a concert entitled, "Finding Emilou" which is currently featured as a soon-to-be four part series at http://StLouisan.com. A link to my FB-StLouisan page is:

http://www.facebook.com/pages/StLouisan/182764281774647?v=app_142371818162. If you "like" the page, you can comment about the video.

Professional recordings of songs about Emilou can be purchased at http://www.cdbaby.com/Artist/KareenKing

For more on The Golden Experience - Keynotes, Concerts, & Workshops to Enrich Lives in Long-Term Care, visit http://www.thegoldenexperience.com/. Email Kareen King at kking@thegoldenexperience.com.

Emilou and Kareen King on KSNT Topeka Channel 27 Sunflower Heroes

2011-07-23T05:57:00.001-07:00

Emilou Ware would never have dreamed how she's impacted lives posthumously. Since her death in 2008, Emilou's message has been recorded on two albums, The Person in the Picture Ain't Me, and Find Me. She has a Facebook profile with a growing number of friends. Her persona has been recreated into a puppet, and she has and continues to touch the lives of elders, caregivers, and audiences around the nation. She was recently featured as a Sunflower Hero on KSNT Topeka Channel 27. Click the following link to see her story.

For more on The Golden Experience - Keynotes, Concerts, & Workshops to Enrich Lives in Long-Term Care, visit http://www.thegoldenexperience.com/. Email Kareen King at kking@thegoldenexperience.com.

The Best Things In Life Are Free

2011-07-21T20:21:00.000-07:00

There was an article on the MSN homepage this week about things that used to be totally free including water, national and state park entrances, bank services, public school, television, etc. So, I thought I'd use this topic as a catalyst for a discussion with the elders at Wellsville Retirement Community on the free things we value most.

After affirming each "offering" by listing it on a dry erase board, I concluded our event by enlisting the help of some teenage volunteers to "receive" hugs from each of the participants. Free hugs will never go out of style.

For more on The Golden Experience - Keynotes, Concerts, & Workshops to Enrich Lives in Long-Term Care, visit http://www.thegoldenexperience.com/. Email Kareen King at kking@thegoldenexperience.com.

Clark Retirement Community Lip Dub

2011-07-21T07:44:00.001-07:00

Click the link below to view one of the most incredible videos I've ever seen. See seniors lip sync as they go about their merry way at Clark Retirement Community.
http://youtu.be/uZ7-n930zJo

How to Engage Male Nursing Home Residents (You Made a Splash) by Kareen King

2011-07-15T07:39:00.000-07:00

I recently created a Patriotic experience for the residents I work with on a weekly basis. This included retelling the story behind the Declaration of Independence, sharing obscure tunes from WWI, talking about current political headlines, giving honor to the men who have served in the military, and singing "America the Beautiful," noting the relevance of its powerful lyrics.

After presenting to my third group of residents, I decided to do a bit of show-and-tell with a large picturebook of World War II Aircraft for the small group of gentlemen who lingered afterwards. The men had either served in the military, or serviced the planes for those who did. They were mesmerized by the pictures, commenting on each of the planes as I slowly turned the heavy pages. One gentleman, George (pictured above) shed tears as he recognized a picture of the very aircraft he used to service as an airplane mechanic.

"You made a splash," declared one of the gentlemen when it was all said and done.

And that made my day.

For more on The Golden Experience - Keynotes, Concerts, & Workshops to Enrich Lives in Long-Term Care, visit http://www.thegoldenexperience.com/. Email Kareen King at kking@thegoldenexperience.com.

Why We Need the Arts in Medicine

2011-07-12T10:21:00.000-07:00

Why We Need the Arts in Medicine

For more on The Golden Experience - Keynotes, Concerts, & Workshops to Enrich Lives in Long-Term Care, visit http://www.thegoldenexperience.com/. Email Kareen King at kking@thegoldenexperience.com.

Aging With Humor

2011-07-08T11:39:00.000-07:00

There's a 94-year-old resident I have the pleasure of working with on a weekly basis. Yesterday during our monthly Resident Council meeting, I offered each resident a bag of popcorn.

“When your teeth jump around and accommodate the kernels, it’s a problem," teased Jean, who declined my offer.

Using humor to take the edge off the inconveniences that come with age, Jean added, “I look forward to the day they create a wonderful pill to take this aging thing off our shoulders. The good Lord will reward whoever does it and we’ll help Him.”

For more on The Golden Experience - Keynotes, Concerts, & Workshops to Enrich Lives in Long-Term Care, visit http://www.thegoldenexperience.com/. Email Kareen King at kking@thegoldenexperience.com.

Puppetry Crosses Cultures

2011-07-02T08:57:00.000-07:00

My family and I recently had the privilege of hosting a wonderful girl, Naomi, from Germany for six months. During the course of her stay, her mother, Karin, befriended Emilou Goldenpuppet via facebook and became familiar with the impact Emilou has had posthumously via puppetry in the world of long-term care.

Just after sending Naomi back home at the airport, I found a gift bag waiting on her bed for "Emilou." The following is the contents of the letter that accompanied our new puppet, German Bear. It was one of the most loving things anyone has ever done for me.

Dear Emilou,

My name is German Bear. I lived in a little shop until a few days ago where I watched the people passing and wondered if any of them would be my new family. Then I was taken home by a lady called Karin and I was delighted, since she seemed to be a nice person to be taken home with.
I heard her talking to the shop assistant, saying I would travel a long way across the ocean to go to live with my new family in Kansas. You can imagine how surprised I was. Karin told me about you, an elderly lady called Emilou Goldenpuppet, who lived with the King family in Osage City, KS. She showed me some photographs of all the family members on Facebook and read the profiles to me.

“Why can’t I stay here in Germany?” I asked.

“I would like you to travel and help Emilou with her work,” Karin said.

“Is she still working, being an elderly person?” I wanted to know.

“She is helping other elderly people in nursing homes,” Karin said.

“What does she do?” I inquired.

“She brightens up their day,” Karin answered, “but she surely could do with a bit of help every now and then, not being so young anymore. Would you like to give her a hand?”

“Of course I will, but I’m a bit scared,” I said.

“What are you scared about?” Karin wanted to know.

“Well it’s a long journey to Kansas and I don’t know if Emilou and the King family will like me and I might be lonesome and homesick.”

“Don’t worry,” Karin said. “I know you will be welcomed and made to feel at home.”

“What makes you so sure?” I inquired.

“Well, German Bear, I will tell you a story,” Karin replied. "Awhile back I sent a young girl, my daughter Naomi, on this long journey to Kansas and I was a bit worried, like you are now, German Bear. What will happen to her? Will she be welcomed? Will she be safe? What if she feels lonely and homesick? Let me tell you what happened. Naomi met a wonderful and caring family. They made her time in Kansas very special. She was accepted and taken as she is by Kareen and Jeff King, her host parents, and her host sisters and brothers. Especially Kathryn the youngest of her sisters. They helped her grow and meet all the difficulties she encountered. And the best of all is, they gave her a HOME! She now has two families. I even feel like having another family in Osage city myself now. Would you like to go there, German Bear?”

“They must be very special people,” I said.

“They are,” Karin answered. “They make you look outside your world (as in Kareen’s case) and inside yourself (as in Jeff’s case).”

“What about Emilou?” I asked.

“Oh Emilou might be an elderly lady, but she is full of humor and wisdom and has a lot of common sense. So she’ll be able to teach you, young German Bea,r a lot of things,” Karin said. ‘Would you like to travel to Kansas and help her?”

“I would like to. Isn’t that the place people call the Land of Oz?”

“You’re right,” Karin replied.

So this is my story, Emilou Goldenpuppet. I’m looking forward to meeting you and the King family. And if you need some help with your work, I’d be glad to do so.

“But I have one last question for you, Karin. Will you miss me when I’m in Osage City?”

“Only a little,” she replied, “because I know you are not really far away and gone, since part of my love and my thoughts are already there where you go to. And I hope to travel to Osage City myself very soon to meet Emilou Goldenpuppet and all of the King’s.”

Your friend,

German Bear

For more on The Golden Experience - Keynotes, Concerts, & Workshops to Enrich Lives in Long-Term Care, visit http://www.thegoldenexperience.com/. Email Kareen King at kking@thegoldenexperience.com.

Leona Wright - Oldest Nursing Home Volunteer in the Nation?

2011-06-27T14:11:00.000-07:00

Drum roll please . . . . Could it be possible that the almost 103-year-old Leona Wright is the oldest nursing home volunteer in the nation? Yes, I said VOLUNTEER!
The following is a mini documentary about this amazing lady's volunteer work recently aired on TV News Channel 27 out of Topeka, Kansas. I also had the privilege of interviewing Leona a week ago to get the rest of the story. If you would like to receive a fre PDF of my interview with Leona entitled, "The Centenarian's Sunday School Lesson of a Lifetime," email me at kking@thegoldenexperience.com.

100-Year-Old Dorothy Custer and 75-Year-Old Dr. Joel Brende - Two Amazing Golden Agers!

2011-06-21T10:23:00.000-07:00

Had a blast last night with family members surprising my Ulyssean dad, Dr. Joel Brende, on his 75th birthday at Jack Gage American Tavern in Kansas City. I asked him to share one of the biggest highlights of his adventurous life.
"Dog-sledding in the Northwest Territory," he replied without hesitation.
Click http://www.thegoldenexperience.com/2009/10/dr-joel-brende-dogsledding-adventurist.html for more on what it is to be a Ulyssean adult and on his many adventures.

After the party, followed by a lovely walk through a park adjacent to the Kansas City Country Club Plaza, some family members and I tuned into Jay Leno just in time to catch a hilarious interview with 100-year-old Dorothy Custer. My intrigue with centenarians and their secrets, of course, kicked right in.

Noteable qualities about this enigmatic lady include:
- Sharp wit
- Unusual sense of recall
- Keen sense of cultural relevance
- Informed on current events
- Musical performance ability (still plays a mean harmonica)
- Physically fit - devoted to a daily exercise regime

For more on The Golden Experience - Keynotes, Concerts, & Workshops to Enrich Lives in Long-Term Care, visit http://www.thegoldenexperience.com/. Email Kareen King at kking@thegoldenexperience.com.

No Has-Been

2011-06-10T12:50:00.000-07:00

“I’m just a has-been,” declared 100-year-old Jo after I delivered her to her assisted living apartment.

“You are no has-been, Jo,” I rebuffed. “You are an inspiration!”

Has-been is defined as "a person or thing that is no longer popular, successful, effective, etc.," (www.freedictionary.com). And Jo is certainly no has-been. On the contrary, Jo has been doing a lot with her time!

Jo Thompson is an amazing centenarian who facetiously understates her incredible value almost every time I see her. I really don’t believe she has a poor self image. I just believe she’s bought into the attitude that being very old ranks at the bottom of what’s valued in our society. Perhaps her self-deprecating statements serve as a cushion to soften the blow of how she assumes others view her. As if she’s addressing the ageism elephant in the room before anyone else can.

For the record, this 100-year-old seamstress stays busy quilting and creating homemade gifts every day in her apartment. She’s created an untold number of quilts, pot holders, cloth-covered fans, and more throughout her lifetime. Recently, I caught her in the act of constructing a quilt made up of three pairs of her own slacks! She, however, is resistant to the compliments of her handiwork by making note of her imperfections. Her son mentions that she’s become more aware in the last few years, of her physical deterioration that affects her skillfulness. Thus, when she verbally tears down her work, she’s simply informing me that she has a critical eye and knows she has been capable of doing better.

I see her works as magnificent. How many centenarians have the capability and proactive nature to keep creating? Perhaps that’s part of the secret of her success. That, and her appreciative attitude about life. She mentions often how thankful she is to be alive and often reminds others of everything we should be grateful for.

BRAVO to Jo Thompson! She deserves a standing ovation! She’s no has-been. She just IS.

Benefit Concert in Lawrence for Joplin, MO

2011-06-07T11:07:00.000-07:00

News flash! I will be performing, along with my daughter and several others, at a benefit concert for Joplin,
MO at The Bottleneck in Lawrence, KS 66044 this Thursday night. Show starts at 7:00 p.m., but I'll be
performing between 8:00 and 8:30 p.m.

I'll be singing "The Person in the Picture Ain't Me" from my album of the same title because of the
reference to Jewell's hometown, Joplin, MO.

Validating the Individual With Dementia

2011-06-06T08:47:00.000-07:00

Quiz question: What should one do when encountering an individual with dementia, who repeats everything and speaks from a world of her own, obviously out of touch with the surrounding reality?

1. Correct her.

2. Avoid her.

3. Patronize her.

4. Validate her.

Well, I'm sure you know the answer to be number four. But, more often than should, the first three are acted upon, perhaps from fear or ignorance. But, validating a human being is always the unfailing choice for connection. It's simply about entering the world of another and affirming the individual. It's about improvising along the way, paying attention to each cue and acting upon it. Here's a recent example:

There’s a ninety-something woman who sits in the same spot in the dining room for each meal. She usually sits alone with a stern look on her face and an uninviting presence about her. I sat across from her one day, hoping to make a connection.

“Hi, I’m Kareen. And your name is?”

“Hallie,” she replied flatly, with thick southern twang.

“Are you from here?”

“No, from Arkansas.”

“What brings you here?”

“My children all live around here.”

“Did your husband pass away?”

“Yes, five years ago,” she continued with flat affect.

“I’m sorry. Do you miss him?”

“Yes. It’s hard. It doesn’t get any easier.”

“I imagine so.”

“So, were you a homemaker, or did you work outside the home when you were married to him?”

“I worked in the home.”

“I see. Did you cook and sew?"

"I sewed my husband's shirts."

"That's wonderful."

“My husband died five years ago.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s hard.”

“I imagine so.”

“It doesn’t get any easier.”

“He must have been a wonderful husband.”

“He was.”

"Tell me about him."

“He worked hard."

“He must have taken good care of you.”

"He did. It’s hard. It doesn’t get any easier.”

"I'm sorry."

“I own this place,” she suddenly declared, her countenance shifting slightly as she spoke with authority.

“Really?”

“That’s right. A colored man shows up here every morning at 6:00 to work and I show up with him.”

“Why is that?”

“To show my appreciation.”

“That’s great.”

“He worked for the family for years, but then he came along with me.”

“I see.”

“I own this place. My aunt deeded it over to me.”

“Is that right?”

“I come here every morning at 6:00 with a colored man and we work together.”

“That’s great.”

“He worked for the family for years, but then he came with me.”

“I see.”

“Every morning at 6:00 a colored man comes here and works, and I work with him. Nobody better than another.”

“That’s right.”

“Now I just sit here and watch all these people here get the job done,” she added with a note of satisfaction, as the nursing home staff continued serving her fellow residents their dinner.

“Well, it looks like you’ve doing an outstanding job,” I affirmed her, shaking her hand. “Congratulations for a job well done.”

“Thank you.”

Click http://www.cdbaby.com/Artist/KareenKing for original songs that feature the stories of elders, many who live with dementia, in long-term care settings.

Elder Quotes

2011-06-03T21:36:00.000-07:00

I love the little golden nuggets that surface in the midst of the busy world of long-term care. Just the other day, several quotable statements surfaced from the elders I had the pleasure of serving. These are the few that stood out to me, any of which could serve as great conversation starters! And, yes, they are originals! Try them out and see for yourself!

"When your head is in the sand, your tail is waiting to be shot at." - J.T.
Conversation starters:
- Do you believe ignorance is bliss?
- When have you stuck your head in the sand?
- Have you ever gotten in trouble for sticking your head in the sand?

"My forgetter works very well." - J.T
Conversation starters:
- How well is your "forgetter" working?
- Talk about something unforgettable.

And finally, when inviting one of the female residents to my "Kareen's Kettle," I could tell she was sleepy.
"I'll do what I can," she responded.

"Do what you want," I encouraged, reminding her of her power to choose, and trying to reassure her that she didn't have to feel pressured to join in.

"It's the same thing," she replied.

Conversation Starter:
- What are things you can still do?
- What are things you want to do?
- Is there are a difference between what you can do and what you want to do?

Memorial Day at Eric Brende’s Home | Kareen King Sings

2011-05-31T12:34:00.000-07:00

Just returned from an amazing, eclectic, spontaneous, magical, quirky, one-of-a-kind weekend in St. Louis to see my nephew, Hans Brende, graduate from SLU High School. Hans is the son of my brother/author, Eric Brende who hosted (along with his lovely wife, Mary) an amazing shindig at their urban home. Eric asked me to bring my guitar and play at the gathering. The fact that a professional videographer was invited to the event, was one of the unexpected moments of the weekend.
Memorial Day at Eric Brende’s Home | Kareen King Sings

Kareen King from Dickson Beall on Vimeo.

Brende Balcony

kking@thegoldenexperience.com

You Can't Wow Everyone, But You Can Try

2011-05-27T10:24:00.000-07:00

There are people who won't come to my "golden experiences" in the long term care setting, even if I were to announce I was about to juggle flaming swords. "Millie," a retired school teacher is one of those folks. She stays in her room - even to eat, and calls herself an "impossible child" because of her inability to be satisfied.

So, I decided to probe her a bit, to see if I could find the window to her soul.

"What would make your day?"

"To have a pain free day."

"What do you enjoy?"

"Nothing."

"What have you enjoyed?"

"To get rid of the gas."

"What do you think would make your life better?"

"I don't think."

"So, did you lose your love for learning?"

"I guess."

"What did you do after you quit teaching?"

"I was a housekeeper."

"Did you like it?"

"I existed."

We continued to discuss, with her intermittent belches between breaths, how blah and uncomfortable she has been. I finally brought our uninspiring conversation to an end, feeling somewhat defeated.

"Thanks for letting (she let out a long belch) me chit chat with you. Was it o.k. that I asked you all these questions?"

"Yes. I enjoyed it."

Bingo!

Morning Glories

2011-05-24T14:31:00.000-07:00

Have you considered that no matter how much our bodies are decaying, no matter how many limitations we have, and no matter how old we are, there are still pockets of beauty within if you look closely?

I discovered these almost hidden glimpses of glory peeking from a crop of dead corn stalks on a late summer walk. It made me think of the beauty of our frail elders who are, with the exception of their caregivers and a few family members and volunteers, hidden from society.

My challenge? Keep the Golden Nugget Pursuit alive within you! Look for the little glimpses of glory, not only in the world of long-term care, but in your daily journeys.

Protecting What Matters Most

2011-05-24T05:18:00.000-07:00

Today I anticipate anything weatherwise since I live near the zone where severe tornadic activity is expected to strike. I find myself suddenly putting to test the question I've asked myself and others since being exposed to the world of long-term care:

If you could save only what you could fit into one small space, what would you save?

For me it's two categories:
1. Favorite family photos and mementos including my children's memory boxes
2. Anything I've created, especially that which still has income-producing viability This includes my puppets, musical instruments, drama therapy notebooks, presentational outlines, etc.

So, I better get busy. I have a few items to take to the basement - just in case . . .

TIP: Conversation starter for residents in long-term care:
- Tell me about the items you have in your room.

In the end, "We've brought nothing into this world. We'll take nothing out."

Kansas Tornado Rescues

2011-05-23T08:43:00.000-07:00

My son Jonathan, who just graduated from nursing school, has been working as a CNA at Wellsville Retirement Community for the last couple years. He called me two nights ago just as he had gotten off work to ask about the weather in Osage City where I live. I happened to be in the basement with my family during a tornado warning at the time.

Minutes later, Jon found himself assisting in getting all the residents out of their rooms and into a safe place since Wellsville was soon experiencing tornado warnings as well. This is just one of the behind-the-scenes efforts long-term care staff need to be applauded for.

Imagine how grateful, from the vantage point of a helpless nursing home resident, to have someone like Jon be there in the context of the following:

The following is an account of what happened while our family was safe inside our basement. The 16-year-old boy who came to the aid of the dying man from Reading, KS, is a family friend of ours.
Reading resident details tornado | CJOnline.com

Romance at Any Age

2011-05-16T09:01:00.000-07:00

There is a couple who met and fell in love while living in a skilled nursing facility. Every time I see them, they are sitting together holding hands, or sitting as close together as possible.

One day I went to their room and found them holding hands, each asleep in their wheel chairs.

"You wanna go on a bus outing with me?" I gently nudged "Millie" as I explained all the fun plans I had for this particular AdVanture.

"Of course!" she beamed.

"What about you?" I asked her significant other, Kenny.

"I'll go wherever she goes."

Daughter Sings"OK to Be" on U of O Campus Radio

2011-05-14T13:49:00.000-07:00

My daughter Joanna was just featured on the University of Oregon's campus radio station yesterday. My daughter Rachel and I listened to the live broadcast while sitting in my car in a Topeka parking lot. She sings her original tune about the validity and uniqueness of each one of us. "Old, new, grey, blue . . . It's o.k. to be me. It's o.k. to be you."

This proud mama just had to pass on the love.

Elderly care workers in it for long term

2011-05-14T09:43:00.000-07:00

Elderly care workers in it for long term

Toenail Tunes

2011-05-13T19:40:00.000-07:00

News Flash! Dr. Dr. Nicole Didyk, a geriatric medicine specialist at St. Mary’s General Hospital states, "We’ve got to really be on our toes with older folks. . . Isolation is really a killer with dementia."
(Source: Discerning cause of confusion in elderly is difficult but essential, May 13, 2011, http://www.therecord.com/).

So I was standing in the check-out line in the grocery store, longing to go home after a long day of monotonous tasks. As I waited, I began to take note of two young siblings chanting some jump rope rhymes.

“When Susie was a baby she went wah wah wah!
Give me that toy – wah, wah!
Give me that toy – wah, wah!”

Suddenly I began recalling old jump rope chants from my childhood. One in particular left a permanent record in my brain:

Down in the valley where the green grass grows
There sat a little girl sweet as a rose
She sang
She sang
She sang so sweet
When UP popped a little boy and kissed her on the cheek!
Shame!
Shame!
Double shame!
How do you spell your boyfriend’s name?

What became clear about this occasion was the positive shift of energy in the space. I was no longer mindlessly enduring my wait, but smiling as I reminisced about my own childhood, recalling my memories with the mother of the children who stood in line behind me. I could appreciate the therapeutic value of reminiscence combined with a little playground poetry.

A similar thing occurred serendipitously yesterday while spending a day with elders in a long-term care setting. Soon after my arrival, I was notified that the podiatrist would be seeing residents throughout the day and that my activities might be interrupted intermittently.

So I decided to look for the "golden" opportunity in the midst of this typically uneventful occasion. With the cooperation of the podiatrist whose theme song is, “There’s No Business Like Toe Business,” I began creating impromptu podiatrist parodies for the residents who were lined up along the hallway as they waited in their wheel chairs. For the next half hour, the hallway transformed into a found space of musical improvisational theater. As a result, the climate shifted dramatically and a delightful camaraderie was experienced between me and the podiatrist, his assistant, and the residents. I was told later that my silly musical improvisations had energized the space and made the day start much brighter.

Ah . . . the power of improvisational play. It's about staying on your toes!

Here are a few ideas to create your own Toenail Tunes to combat isolation and improve the social health of elders, including those with dementia!

- Bye Bye Toenails (Bye, Bye Blackbird)
- There’s No Business Like Toe Business (There’s No Business Like Show Business)
- Fungus on My Toes (Georgia On My Mind)
- Dr. Toes is Here Again (Happy Days Are Here Again)
- Happy Toes To You (Happy Trails To You)
- Have I Toed You Lately (Have I Told You Lately That I Love You)
- Hello Toenail (Hello Dolly)
- He’s Got Our Toenails in His Hands (He’s Got the Whole World in His Hands)
- I Can See Toenails Now (I Can See Clearly Now)
- I Wanna Clip Your Toenails (I Wanna Hold Your Hand)
- King of the Toes (King of the Road)
- Mairzy Toes (Mairzy Doats)
- My Corns are as high as an elephant’s eye (from Oh What a Beautiful Mornin’)
- Put your toe in, put your toe out, put your toe in and shake it all about (from Hokey Pokey - Note: One elder added, "Do the toosie wootsie and you turn yourself about . . .")
- Toenails Have Broken (Morning Has Broken)
- Raindrops Keep Falling on my Toes (Raindrops Keep Falling on my Head)
- Trim-A-Dee-Toenail (Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah)
- He's Got Our Toenails in His Hands (He's got the Whole World in His Hands)
- Will You Trim Our Toenails? (to the tune of "Let Me Call You Sweetheart")
- I'm Forever Trimming Toenails ("I'm Forever Blowing Bubbles")
- TipTOE Through the Tulips
- T-T-T-Toenails (K-K-K-Katy)
- Head and Shoulders (knees and toes!)

Oh yes, and suffice it to say that everyone who experienced a few "Toenail Tunes" were much lighter on their toes!

Have any other ideas? Send me your comments or email me at kking@thegoldenexperience.

Jay Leno Stays In Touch | Parade.com

2011-05-10T09:30:00.000-07:00

Want to try something that will significantly improve your one-to-one and group activity experiences in the long-term care setting? Shake their hand (with eye contact, of course) when they arrive. And, for good measure, do it again when they (or you) leave, thanking them for being there. Maybe even with a hug if you're brave. Jay Leno says it one of the favorite parts of his show. And I can attest to the same thing when working with elders in long-term care.
Jay Leno Stays In Touch | Parade.com

Be their Jay Leno, by providing "the golden touch" to their activity experiences!

Be a Brain Stretcher

2011-05-04T20:21:00.000-07:00

Many years ago I went through a transformative training experience called Break Through in which I discovered a lot about myself. During the culminating weekend, a Purpose Vision Living Seminar, I discovered my personal mission statement, "to create adventure for myself and others."

I've since seen this sense of adventure translate into my work in long-term care where I'm ever passionate about creating experiences that transcend the boundaries of the conventional (aka, Bingo, Crossword Puzzles, etc.). As a matter of fact, I recently learned that the aforementioned activities really don't create new pathways in the brain because they're only tapping into what's already stored within. Thus, it is important to create experiences which will broaden the horizons of golden agers and unleash their potential.

My golden moment of the day occurred after facilitating a number of experiences built around a couple of special days in the May calendar - Holocaust Remembrance Day (May 2), and National Weather Observers Day (May 4). These experiences included sharing personal weather reports using various weather conditions as metaphor for our lives, doing group readings of large print versions of some haunting poems written by the 13-15-year-old boys of SKID featured in the pages of VEDEM magazine, and showcasing some works of art created by my daughter, Rachel, a Studio Art major at George Fox University.

"You're a brain stretcher. You make us look outside our world," declared "Dorothy."

That alone, was worth its weight in gold.

Note: The pen and ink drawing of Rachel playing the piano in our living room was one of many of her works displayed for the residents.

Good Things Come in Small Packages

2011-04-29T07:03:00.001-07:00

I spend quite a bit of time planning for my weekly "Kareen's Kettle," a gathering in which I incorporate the arts and creative expression with headline news, holidays and special day themes, etc.

Every now and then, however, I surrender my agenda when it becomes apparent that an elder is begging to be seen and heard. This occurred yesterday after I spent some time with 94-year-old "Betty" who showed me her miniature Singer sewing machine which she used to make doll clothes over the years. She acquired it around the age of ten, suggesting the Singer to be over 80 years old. I found out later, this little machine was first marketed by Singer in 1910 and sold as both a toy and an adult miniature.

Later, during my "Kettle," I mentioned the quote, "Good things come in small packages," acknowledging Betty's Singer.

"Want me to go get it?" she asked, excitedly.

"Of course!"

Minutes later she returned, beaming, with the object of her affection, offering it to be passed from resident to resident as they each marveled and commented along the way.

It is truly a golden moment when an elder is allowed to take center stage and become fully expressed.

Easter Concert With Betty Lukens Felt

2011-04-24T19:31:00.000-07:00

I often like to provide a touch of theater to my experiences with elders in long-term care. This includes adding a bit of spectacle to my programs which usually feature storytelling and music. I discovered a fun and simple way of adding some dramatic background to a recent Easter concert I did which featured some original tunes (including The Christ) and classic hymns. I retrieved some old Betty Lukens felt figures and background scenery I used to use when teaching Children's Church, and created a backdrop for the concert. The residents were impressed by and appreciative of this added component.

To add a fun twist to the program, I told an unusually quirky and not-so-modern-day tale about forgiveness. The following is a true story that occurred in 1891 as reported in Arlo Bell's "I Remember When" column (my favorite resource for reminscence conversations) of the April 14, 2011 edition of the Osage County Herald-Chronicle:

Some boys at Osage City were creating a disturbance Saturday night outside the door of a man who lives in a room adjoining the stairs of the Grand Opera House. When they refused to desist, the man pushed one of them, and he fell halfway down the stairs. The boy went home and told his father how he had been mistreated. The father rushed to the scene and struck at the resident with such force that his thumb was thrown out of joint. A third party tried to separate the two during the fight that followed, just as the resident drew a pistol and fired. The ball passed through the third man's wrist, hit the father above the eye and passed around where it lodged over the ear. Both wounded men were taken to the doctor, and the resident was arrested. Neither wound was serious, and the two combatants shook hands over the affair Monday. The case was dismissed yesterday when no one appeared to prosecute.

Happy Easter!

The Christ - Awake! Awake!

2011-04-23T22:02:00.000-07:00

In the spirit of the Easter season I introduce to you a song I wrote many years ago from the perspective of the Centurion who watched the events of the crucifixion of the Christ unfold. It's entitled, "The Christ" and it was performed by my sibling group, Awake! Awake! (comprised of me and my twin siblings, Alicia Mock and Mark Brende). I also have included this song as a part of the annual Easter worship service tradition during the years my husband and I pastored. I recently sang the song for the elders at the two retirement communities where I serve as an Activity Consultant. One of the elders asked if I had recorded it. Yes indeed.

Honey?

2011-04-22T20:06:00.000-07:00

I recently observed a CNA converse with a gentleman who had just moved into a skilled nursing facility. She addressed him as "honey."

"Honey!" he replied incredulously. "What'd you call me that for? I ain't got that close to you yet."

This is an example of elderspeak in which caregivers address elders by unwanted terms of endearment, a practice often demonstrated in skilled nursing facilities. It's an inadvertent example of "itting" a person, or otherwise objectifying him.

My song, "Call Me For Dinner," from the album, "Find Me," is a musical expose on the subject.

Debris Extravaganza!

2011-04-19T07:21:00.000-07:00

One of the “playful” things I like to do in the world of long-term care is to see what I can create from an otherwise mundane or unlikely topic. A recent case in point stems from the news of the discovery of Air France Flight 447 that had crashed into the Atlantic Ocean in 2009, killing 216 passengers and 12 crew members. The discovery came as a result of four expeditions by three unmanned submarines. One of the French locals was quoted as saying, “Finally finding debris is good news.” (NBC Today Show, 4-5-11).

I pondered that statement, turning it into a question for the residents to ponder as well. “When is finding debris good news?” And thus the question transformed into the “Debris Extravaganza!” We explored several literal monumental examples involving debris (i.e. the Japan tsunami, the oil spill, the Twin Towers, etc.). We did a group poetry reading of Shel Silverstein’s “Sarah Cynthia Sylvia Stout.” We discussed the plot of the unconventional movie, “Sunshine Cleaning,” and shared personal accounts of “messes” we’ve had to clean up. We interviewed staff members such as janitors and housekeepers who deal with debris on a daily basis.
We discussed debris as metaphor in our own lives. And finally, I launched a parade of puppets I created from bottles, boxes, cardboard tubes, and more. Watching the residents smile and interact with the puppets was the icing on the cake. Thus we took an unlikely and undesirable topic and played with it on a number of levels in the world of long-term care - a place where many with debris-laden minds and bodies still have opportunity to explore and play.

Note: The photo above is an example of one of my puppets that "connected" with the residents. The woman who holds "Grandma Bottle" in her lap actually wanted to have her as a roommate!

Below is Shel Silverstein's reading of Sarah Cynthia Sylvia Stout.

Stay There Then

2011-04-10T06:54:00.000-07:00

While facilitating a devotional with some Assisted Living residents, the conversation turned to the topic of age and how old or young we really feel.

"I feel like I'm thirty," I declared.

"Well stay there then," one of the ladies quipped with a smile.

Happy Birthday Ruth

2011-04-10T06:46:00.000-07:00

Had a great experience serving as a support team member for Brookside yesterday. The day was filled with a number of well attended activities and special moments. But one of the unexpected events of the day was the celebration of 80-year-old Ruth's birthday. Her extended family showed up with decorations and balloons and lots of smiles. They also set up a beautiful spread of sandwiches, punch, and cake which they served throughout the afternoon. Ruth is very blessed!

Of course, Emilou had to get in on the action as well. Emilou, by the way, participated fully throughout the day by offering hugs, dancing, and sitting on lots of laps.

Neighborhood Chivalry

2011-04-06T20:19:00.000-07:00

I learned something new from the elders today while discussing the evolving state of wedding registries. This morning I caught a glimpse of an internet article about how traditional wedding registries are transforming into requests for motorcyles and other high dollar investments. I thought it would provide good fodder for a conversation.

"Ladies and gentlemen," I inquired, "How many of you had wedding registries before you got married?"

None of the mostly octogenerian/nonegenarian members of our "Let's Talk" group answered affirmatively. Few received many wedding gifts at all. Instead, I was introduced to a brand new term - neighborhood chivalry. Everyone in our group, but me, was familiar with this old tradition which included any number of pranks such as hiding the wife from the groom.

One couple shared how their neighborhood chivalry included receiving canned goods without labels and having their bed filled with rocks.

"They was gonna throw my hubby in the creek, but he said, 'I can't swim," stated a wife. "Instead they sent him on a wheelbarrow with a mangy dog down the street."

The one thing I didn't hear was a complaint about what they didn't receive.

"To be simple is to be great." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

The Ultimate Example of The Golden Experience

2011-04-05T09:51:00.001-07:00

This, ladies and gentlemen, is the ultimate example of The Golden Experience. The implications it could have if followed in the world of caregiving as well as in the world at large would be extraordinary!

Click the following link to be transformed: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZiC_9RHTvsA

April is Poetry Month (KAC Resources)

2011-04-05T09:28:00.001-07:00

Just got word from the Kansas Arts Commission of some excellent resources for celebrating poetry.

My personal favorite poetry activity is engaging elders by reading rhyming couplets that feature true rhyme. I leave off the last word at the end of each rhyming couplet and invite them to complete it for me. The beauty is that no recognition of the poem is required, everybody participates, and endorphins are raised via the arts while cultivating a sense of community.

Here are some resources provided by the Kansas Arts Commission:

Kansas Daily Poem in Your Pocket: http://arts.ks.gov/poetry_month/pocket.shtml

150 Kansas Poems: http://150kansaspoems.wordpress.com/

Poet Laureate of Kansas: http://arts.ks.gov/poet_laureate/mirriam-goldberg.shtml

For questions regarding the Poet Laureate program, contact the Kansas Arts Commission at 866/433-0688 (toll free) or 785/296-3335, or email kac@arts.ks.gov.

Emilou Makes Waves at NAAP Conference

2011-04-03T19:46:00.000-07:00

I just returned from the National Association of Activity Professionals 29th Annual Conference which was held in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. I did the opening keynote, "A Standing Ovation for the Golden Generation!" as well as a break-out session, "Creating a Center Stage Experience for the Activity Program," the next day. I also shared Emilou "Goldenpuppet" with a crowd of almost 400 Activity Professionals from throughout the nation, Canada, and Bermuda. Had a fantastic time conversing with a variety of talented and creative professionals who are passionate about enhancing and enriching the lives of elders in the long-term care environment.

Before heading back to the airport, I had a moment to take Emilou to the beach for a mini photo session. Emilou caught the attention of a number of beachcombers including a couple from Florida who were moved by her story. Every now and then I love to take Emilou into the general public as a symbol to the world of the importance of placing elders, particularly those who are overlooked, on center stage. And in the spirit of the purpose of the NAAP Conference, I thought it apropos to give "Emilou" the kind of experience she likely never had during her earthly life.
Emilou joins me and another Activity Professional for breakfast at the Sheraton.

Emilou makes two new friends at the Raleigh-Durham Int'l Airport Starbucks where we were given fantastic service.

Heavenly Visitations

2011-03-26T11:49:00.000-07:00

I love using headline news as conversation starters for the residents I work with in long-term care. Last week, the story about Colton Burpo, who says he visited heaven during a hospital stay, caught my attention. I shared the story with a group of residents from an Assisted Living and asked for their comments. Later in the day, while walking through the hallway, a lady in her nineties who had participated in the morning activity, called me from her room.

"Kareen!"

"Yes?"

"Come here for a minute."

I entered her space while the housekeeper was tending to her room.

"I wanted to tell you that I, too, saw angels while in the hospital one time long ago."

"Really? Why didn't you share with the group?"

"When I told my family about it, they didn't believe me. But I wanted to tell you about it."

And, the next day, a female resident from another skilled nursing facility shared a very similar story.

Perhaps there may be skeptics about such tales, but the topic certainly opened up the space for a number of fascinating stories about the after-life and angelic visitations.

Click the following link to hear Colton, as an eleven-year-old on the Today Show, describe visiting heaven, seeing not only Jesus but a sister lost due to a miscarriage and a great-grandfather with "huge wings" - things his parents said he couldn't have known about.

http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/42191453/ns/today-today_people/

Barrier-Free Theatre

2011-03-19T06:57:00.000-07:00

I am so proud to share the following video on this weblog. I had the privilege of serving as music director for Barrier Free Theatre while I was working on my Masters Degree in Theater with a Concentration in Drama Therapy at Kansas State University.

For those who live in the area, it is well worth the trip to see one of these performances which usually take place the first weekend of April. It's a heartwarming experience.

I commend Sally Bailey, director of the Drama Therapy program at K-State, for creating a platform for a special needs population to shine. Ultimately, they are receiving The Golden Experience which focuses on the enrichment needs of our lives - love and belonging, self esteem, and self actualization.

100-Year-Old Competition Skier

2011-03-13T17:58:00.000-07:00

A friend introduced me to a fabulous show - CBS Sunday morning. This morning caught my attention because of the feature on a 100-year-old competition skier. Amazing!

Odd News and the "Up" house

2011-03-12T11:33:00.000-08:00

One of the gigs I've inherited when I fill in for a local Activity Professional is an activity called "Let's Talk." I work hard to feature headline news that often sparks interesting conversation with the residents.

Today I discovered a quirky resource to enhance this already serendipitous experience. I've posted an example of Yahoo's Odd News that features a real life "Up" house modeled off the house in the movie, Up (click to see trailer of one of my all-time favorite movies about reinventing the "golden years").

Up, up and away!
Click the following link to view Yahoo's Odd News which includes a blurb about the "Up" house: http://oddnews.yahoo.com/video-odd-news-24467553

Here also is a Youtube post of National Geographic's blurb on the same:

And, finally, for the ultimate Golden Experience, watch this excerpt from the movie, "Up." I cry each time I see it as I'm sorely reminded of the brevity of life and the importance of making it count to the VERY END!

Happy Birthday

2011-03-10T18:44:00.000-08:00

I hosted a resident birthday party the other day at one of the skilled nursing facilities where I work. Tough crowd. Two gentlemen were the focal point of the celebration, and I could not get one of them, "Harry," to crack a smile the whole time.

So after singing my guts out, I walked over to Harry and asked if he was unhappy. The answer was an unequivocal affirmative. I knew enough about Harry, however, to bet that there might be one happiness-raising offer he couldn't refuse.

"Harry, how 'bout I take you for a little birthday drive?"

"Yes!" he beamed.

It only took a quick phone call and a little assistance from the staff for me to provide just the right surprise for our short outing.

Fifteen minutes later, we pulled into my son's driveway and waited for the welcoming committee to arrive.

"Happy birthday, Harry!" my son Josiah exclaimed as he and his two dogs, all decked out in Red Sox attire, burst out the front door. In seconds, both dogs were climbing all over and licking a very happy guy.

What made this a Golden Experience? It included listening to Harry's favorite radio music genre - country, connecting with Harry's favorite animal - dogs, doing Harry's favorite activity - going for a joy ride, and accommodating Harry's request for a couple new routes of his choice on the way home. The bonus for both of us was the experience of being surprised with fashion-coordinated man and beasts who gave us such a hearty welcome.

Just another example of love and belonging and peak moments - the essence of The Golden Experience.

Tin Man

2011-03-02T08:08:00.000-08:00

I recently agreed to work with the American Cancer Society in soliciting funds from my neighbors. This involves sending out the materials from my home address and providing a return envelope addressed to me so that I can send all the contributions back to the Society in one envelope.

After discovering their list of names were terribly outdated, I decided to go for a little walk to hand deliver each envelope to the neighbors I didn't even know existed. Let's just say that you know you've flunked the "Mr. Rogers" test when you don't even know the names or faces of your neighbors, even after having lived there for 12 years

So, during my little adventure, I spotted an adorable tin man displayed on the periphery of one of the homes. Being a crafter of puppets made out of recyclables, I asked if I could take a picture to capture the inspiration.

Several houses down the road, I spotted another tin man of equal design, but with evidence of a lot more wear and tear. I shuddered at first glance, but then pretended to ooh and ah over it as I asked permission to take another photo. Not sure why, other than to capture the difference between the two.

So, here it is with this thing called aging. Though our bodies weather with time, we are still Image-bearers. And we all deserve a second look. As do our neighbors.

Goose Bumps

2011-02-24T19:50:00.000-08:00

Imagine being an artist, a musician, and a motorcycle enthusiast with your life ahead of you.

Then imagine a sudden illness robbing your ability to walk, care for yourself without the assistance of caregivers, or express yourself through language. Your dominant hand no longer functions, and you find your new home surrounded by "neighbors," most of whom are at least thirty years older than you.

Such was the case of "Mike," a man I've had the pleasure and perplexity of engaging with during my work as an activity consultant. Since I cannot (nor anyone else) understand what he tries to communicate, I have resorted to simply mirroring his gestures and facial expressions, along with relying on information from his social history to tap into his psyche.

The other day I witnessed a small miracle unfold before my eyes during one of my one-to-ones with Mike. During my efforts to connect with this complex individual, I suddenly had the notion to do an internet search for a virtual motorcycle ride. In moments, Mike and I were "traveling" vicariously through Canada, taking in the breathtaking scenery along the way. My peripheral vision caught his mesmerized face engage with the snow capped mountains and deep ravines as we raced along the rolling highways.

Suddenly he tapped me, drawing attention to the goosebumps on his arm.

And it wasn't the only moment. He pointed out more goosebumps while watching a YouTube video of Three Dog Night, and later while perusing through the art gallery of a child artist prodigy.

Art, beauty, music, and human connection all in one setting. Love and belonging and peak moments in an unlikely space. This is the essence of The Golden Experience.

And now, I invite you to taste some of what he and I enjoyed the afternoon we experienced goosebumps:

And, to see the incredible artwork of Akiane Kramarik, visit http://www.artakiane.com/home. (Click http://www.artakiane.com/gallery for a virtual library of incredible paintings).

Mister Rogers and Person-Centered Care

2011-02-19T09:22:00.000-08:00

Today marks the anniversary of the 1968 debut television show, "Mr Roger's Neighborhood."
While researching about this amazing man, noted as a "symbol of compassion, patience, and morality," I realized that Fred Rogers offers incredible wisdom and insight into what's needed in the realm of person-centered care. As proof, just click the following link and meditate on his inspiring "I-Thou" quotes:

http://www.goodreads.com/author/quotes/32106.Fred_Rogers

If you'd like to create a concert or group sing-along of Fred Roger's songs, click
http://pbskids.org/rogers/songs/index.html for the lyrics and videos of each of his songs including:
Won't You Be My Neighbor?
It's Such a Good Feeling
It's You I Like
There Are So Many Ways to Say I Love You
What Do You Do With the Mad That You Feel?
You Are Special
You Can Never Go Down the Drain

A New Art Form - Pig Snout Painting

2011-02-17T18:38:00.000-08:00

I took some residents out for an "AdVanture" today to the home of my friend Brenda Cox and her daughter, Savannah. Our Brookmobile bus transformed into a virtual Noah's Arc as we took in a Sugar Glider, a Pomeranian, a chicken, a rabbit, a couple of cats, a goat, and more. But the special feature was a live viewing of the Cox family's new pixie pig, Smitty, doing a "snout painting" otherwise labeled a "smearing."

Skeeter the Tiny Volunteer Dog - Kansas City.com

2011-02-12T09:00:00.000-08:00

Skeeter the tiny volunteer dog shows big heart - KansasCity.com

Art is Like Dessert

2011-02-11T07:51:00.001-08:00

"Art is kinda like dessert," stated a 93-year-old resident at the Assisted Living resident where I serve as an Activity Consultant.

Her statement was in the context of the recent decision by Governor Sam Brownback to eliminate the Kansas Arts Commission from the state budget and move it to the private sector where he believes it's likely to thrive more. Time will tell . . .

In the meantime, I threw out the question to the residents in response to Brownback's determination to concentrate on the core issues of Kansas, arts not being one of them.

"How important are the arts to all of you?" I inquired.

That's when our resident artist, "Lily" gave us her profound simile.

"Beautiful! What would life be like without dessert?" I probed a bit further.

Later I found out that "Lily" incorporated the arts in her six year stint as a school teacher before she got married many moons ago. She used art as an incentive for her students to get their other schoolwork done. I asked her what she had the students do.

"Draw your home. Paint a tree. Look out the window and paint what you see," she reminisced about those early years when she had the students express their creativity through drawing, painting, and building with orange crates. She also recalled how one little boy would arrive early to school every day after she began using art as an incentive for hard work.

"I don't know what's got into my son, but he can hardly wait to get to school," she recalled his mother's explanation for his eagerness.

According to the April 2006 Final Report of a ground-breaking study referred to as the Creativity and Aging Study, “actual stabilization and improvement apart from decline” (p. 6, The Creativity and Aging Study, April 30, 2006, www.creativeaging.org) is the result of powerful positive intervention effects of community-based art programs run by professional artists.

Dr. Gene Cohen, author of The Creative Age and primary investigator of the report, maintains that, in regard to aging, “what has been universally denied is the potential. The ultimate expression of potential is creativity,” (http://www.creativeaging.org/about-ncca/ - located in historical background link).

So, I am here to promote more "dessert" for our eldercare, for ourselves, and for our world!

Note: The picture above was painted by "Lily" 23 years ago and given to me and my husband as a gift. It features me, pregnant with my second child, and my oldest son, Josiah playing while a friend and I are hanging out laundry. It hangs on my kitchen wall, center stage.

Also, I am available for Activity Consultation and workshops that put emphasis on the arts and eldercare. Email me at kking@thegoldenexperience.com for more info.

Roses and a Smile

2011-02-02T10:32:00.000-08:00

If you've never spent time with residents in long-term care, you've never had the opportunity to experience their wisdom and their words of affirmation, which are plentiful to say the least.

Just the other day while listening to some of the reminiscence during a Memorial Service at Brookside Retirement Community, one of the beloved female residents was quoted as saying, "If you don't have a smile on your face, you're only half dressed."

The same day, after taking a gentleman shopping and assisting him with his groceries, he graciously thanked me by saying, "May your path be paved with roses."

So, on this day, may your face be fully dressed with a smile, and may your path be fully paved with roses.

Jan's Story: A Love Lost to Alzheimer's

2011-01-25T05:28:00.000-08:00

A friend of mine introduced me to CBS Sunday Morning - a breath of fresh air in the world of the news media. I also use its inspirational news clips and narratives for conversations starters in the world of long term care.
But, this past Sunday, the following story about early onset Alzheimer's disease caught my attention. Though it is referred to as a tragedy, I find it also intriguing that there is still the possibility of joy within the person living with the disease. Life is full of bittersweet paradoxes indeed. Click the following link for the full story:
http://www.cbsnews.com/video/watch/?id=6601253n&tag=related;photovideo

Identical twin sisters to celebrate 100th birthday

2011-01-21T15:35:00.000-08:00

Can't yet find the video of the Jay Leno interview with a pair of adorable twin sisters that occurred last night on the Tonight Show. The following article, however, will suffice for now:
Identical twin sisters to celebrate 100th birthday

Everybody's Free to Wear Sunscreen and Other Important Advice!

2011-01-21T15:26:00.000-08:00

I was hoping to find a Youtube clip of the twin sisters who are 100 years old and made a guest appearance on Jay Leno last night. Their interview was adorable.

Instead I came across this wonderful hodgepodge of life advice done in a quirky manner. I just had to pass it on.

A Moment in Xela

2011-01-20T18:17:00.000-08:00

I am proud of my son Jon who has has been working as a CNA at a skilled nursing facility to help pay his way through nursing school. He recently returned from a medical missions trip to Guatemala with glowing reports. Knowing my love for capturing moments with elders, he passed along this special picture of an elderly couple waiting to cross the road in Xela.

Advocate for the Arts

2011-01-19T07:42:00.000-08:00

Advocate for the Arts

I just took a few minutes to express my views in response to Governor Sam Brownback's suggestion to eliminate the Kansas Arts Commission. As I read over the implications of such an action, I thought more deeply about my own passion for the arts and its power to impact social change. The following is a portion of the letter I sent to my legislators in response to Brownback's proposal:

I am writing in response to Governor Brownback's intentions to eliminate the Kansas Arts Commission. I am sure you have already been made aware of the implications of this endeavor.

On a personal note, I am a member of the Kansas Arts Commission Arts on Tour Roster which has provided a great training and networking resource for my endeavors to use my performance art to positively impact quality of life for institutionalized elders and their caregivers. I would hate to see this empowering and enriching resource for the State of Kansas be disempowered.

Furthermore, in my efforts to use the arts to empower caregivers and elders in the state of Kansas and beyond, I have discovered that the residual effects of employing the arts to make change far outweighs other non-artistic modalities. Art stimulates the mind and soul like none other. I use original songs, storytelling, poetry, and puppetry as educational components in my keynote presentations, concerts, and workshops. My music has been used in countless training efforts in the world of long term care. I believe that to reduce or eliminate the arts as a platform to positively impact quality of life, quality of education, and quality of our culture, would be a disservice to Kansans.

The following information is "the rest of the story" as quoted in the Kansas Arts Commission Website:

"This move will jeopardize at least $575,000 in National Endowment for the Arts matching funds, contradicting the Governor’s statement that the state will save $574,642.

The state will also lose valuable grants and services from its partners, such as Mid-America Arts Alliance, which provides more than $300,000 in grants and services to Kansas.

The arts in Kansas are a business — elimination of the state agency that supports them will have a ripple effect on other sectors of the economy. The Kansas Arts Commission provides valuable seed money that leverages private funds and supports the total employment of over 37,000 people in the creative arts industry.

Arts and cultural businesses support other businesses — galleries, photographic stores, bookstores and music stores. People who participate in the arts, children through senior citizens, purchase supplies, materials, instruments and equipment, support their local economy. Eliminating support for the arts and cultural businesses, especially in rural communities that are already struggling, will cause a negative ripple effect throughout Kansas communities, causing a loss of private sector employment.

If these businesses go away — which many will — Kansas will struggle to recruit and retain companies and talented workforces to rural communities. No one wants to move to communities with poor quality of life.

In Fiscal Year 2011, the state spent .29 cents per capita on the arts. If the Governor’s proposal is accepted, we will spend .07 cents per person — far less than any other state in the nation (California, ranked 50th, spends .12 cents per person). Kansas would be the only state in the nation to completely eliminate the arts from state funding. Is this the Kansas you want?

If Kansas loses federal funding, the NEA will grant these funds to other states, strengthening their economic competitiveness and weakening ours."

Touch

2011-01-11T15:47:00.000-08:00

Two Great Songbook Resources for the Activity Director or Music Therapist

2011-01-11T12:53:00.000-08:00

Recently, one of the old songbooks at the skilled nursing facility where I work turned up missing. I searched through Amazon.com to find a substitute songbook and America's All-Time Favorite Songs not only fit the bill but surpassed my expectations.

It is wonderfully user-friendly for those who are looking for instant musical activity ideas, singalongs, and programs. The table of contents includes a listing of songs grouped into themes including Home for the Holidays, Hymns and Spirituals, Battle Songs and Sea Shanties, Patriotic Anthems, Way Down South, Novelties and Memories, rock and pop revival and much more. It is also great for piano and guitar and includes very simple piano arrangements and easy guitar chords.

And, as luck would have it, I also discovered The Reader's Digest Country and Western Songbook in the process. This songbook is perfect for the population I work with in the rural Midwest. Almost every resident I have ever assessed for their activity needs is a country music lover and this book has it all!

It also is wonderfully user-friendly for those who are looking for instant musical activity ideas, singalongs, and themed programs. The songbook is divided into sections including Hank Williams hits, New Country Classics, Country hits of the 60's, Country Hits of the 50's, Goldem Memories of the 40's, Western Classics, All-Time Old-Time Favorites, and The Touch of God's Hand.

It is perfect for the musician who plays piano or guitar and includes very simple piano arrangements and easy guitar chords. It also includes interesting background information on each song as well as pictures of nine country music hall-of-famers.

Both of these songbooks virtually do almost all the work for you which is a plus for those who work in the demanding world of long-term care.

Go With God - Tribute to Helen Pierce

2011-01-08T13:43:00.000-08:00

I just received word of the passing of a beautiful nonagenarian named Helen Pierce. I met her on the Island of Vashon in Washington in the summer of 2009 and had the privilege to spend time with her again in August of 2010 while visiting the Northwest with my two daughters. Most recently, the three of us enjoyed sharing our music with Helen who was so very appreciative.

The first time I met Helen, I was on a dream quest, one of the most magical journeys I've ever experienced in my life. It's quite a long story to tell, but meeting Helen was a significant part of the journey which served to affirm my calling to empower and enrich the lives of elders and their caregivers.

As I left her beautiful little cabin, Crow Haven, she bid me farewell - "Go With God."

On the journey home, as I reflected on the beauty of the Northwest and on my own personal calling, I wrote the following poem I now dedicate to Helen.

GO WITH GOD
By Kareen King

Go with God
Where fruit abounds
Where rivers run
Where music sounds

Go with God
Where flowers grow
Where friendships bloom
Where waters flow

Go with God
Where raindrops pour
Where mountains reign
Where songbirds soar

Go with God
Where sunrays beam
Where trees stand tall
Where artists dream

Go with God
Where quarrels mend
Where sad hearts heal
Where battles end

Go with God
Where stars shine bright
Where rainbows glow
Where joys ignite

Go with God
Where old is young
Where dark is light
Where truth is sung

Go with God
Where children play
Where glad hearts dance
Where friendships stay

Go with God
Where winds inspire
Where meadows stir
Where faith is fire

Go with God
Where skies are pure
Where clouds refresh
Where sunsets cure.

Go with God
Where foes agree
Where law is love
Where peace is free

Helen's incredible life story can be viewed here: Island Funeral Service - Vashon, Washington: Obituaries

National Bird Day Activities

2011-01-06T07:34:00.000-08:00

While preparing for my weekly stint at Wellsville Retirement Community (I call myself the Wednesday Wellsville Woman), I discovered that yesterday was National Bird Day. This served as a great umbrella for a number of engaging activities for the residents including:

- A current events discussion surrounding the recent unusual mass bird deaths striking various places in the world
- Bird Trivia (see http://www.cockatielcottage.net/ for an expansive list of bird trivia)
- Bird "popcorn"! That is, have the residents call out every single bird species they can think of for a fun brain exercise.
- A sing-along concert including the following songs :

Blackbird by Paul McCartney
Bye Bye Blackbird (music by Ray Henderson, lyrics by Mort Dixon
Sing a Song of Sixpence (origin uncertain)
Lullabye of Birdland (lyrics by B.Y. Forster, music by George Shearing)
Listen to the Mockingbird (lyrics by Alice Hawthorne, music by Richard Milburn)
Turkey in the Straw (traditional)
Mockingbird by Inez & Charlie Foxx (later recorded by Carly Simon & James Taylor)
Snowbird by Gene MacLellan
__________________________________________________________________
Kareen King is a Registered Drama Therapist and founder of The Golden Experience™, offering keynotes, concerts, and workshops to enrich lives in long-term care. For booking information, contact her at kking@thegoldenexperience.com or visit www.thegoldenexperience.com. Kareen's CD's which feature original songs that give voice to individuals in long-term care settings, have been used as caregiver training tools, gifts for long-term care staff and volunteers, and for personal inspiration. To hear samples and to purchase, click http://www.cdbaby.com/Artist/KareenKing.