Shame on Us

Yesterday, my awareness of social phobia was raised when I became reacquainted with the tendency of people to avoid eye contact in public settings. I’ve known this for years, but kind of forgot about it after I became desensitized to this social disease. I had a fleeting recollection of being disheartened as a teenager when walking down sidewalks or through malls hoping to catch a glance and a smile from the strangers I encountered. When this didn’t occur, my feelings were hurt. Oversensitivity on my part might have been an understatement in those days.

But those feelings were reignited again yesterday after church. We had an unusual amount of visitors on this occasion because of several baptisms. So, while waiting by the doorway as people filed out of the sanctuary, I assumed I’d have the pleasure of meeting eyes with numerous individuals. Not the case. The only individuals who even looked in my direction were those who knew me. Not one person who didn’t know me, turned their head in my direction or looked my way. Not one.

Why is that? Indifference? Preoccupation with other agendas? Distractions? Busyness? Indifference? Fear?

I’m sure there are many variables. But it’s a shame. And I found the resurfacing of my youthful idealistic expectations with their accompanying disappointment a bit of a bruise to my ego. In short, my feelings were hurt that nobody seemed to care enough to reach out to a stranger with a millisecond of eye contact and a smile. I’m smart enough to know it wasn’t intentional. But it still stung. I had been “itted.”

Shame on us.